


Wisdom of the Fool

by theLazarus



Category: Greta Van Fleet (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Hickeys galore, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Angst, Oral Sex, Tour life, a very vulnerable Jake, handjob, smut just so much smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theLazarus/pseuds/theLazarus
Summary: Jake realizes his feelings for Danny go beyond brotherly love.
Relationships: Jake Kiszka & Danny Wagner, Jake Kiszka/Danny Wagner
Comments: 58
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know a number of y’all enjoy Sanny–I’ve always loved the friendship between Jake and Danny too (and wish we got to see more of it!), but also you guys on AO3 seem more inclined to pair Jake & Danny than my tumblr crew, which is wonderful, thank you for that. I’ve had a particular fantasy about Jake and Danny in mind for weeks–it was originally instigated by that little video that went around months and months ago, of Jake offstage watching Danny during his solo. Even at the time, I thought it was a remarkable glimpse into what is probably a truly beautiful friendship and then it somehow made its way into my head again. I couldn't stop thinking about it, so it had to be written.
> 
> Writing this was really fun, as well as pretty challenging at times! I really hope you enjoy. 
> 
> I was bopping to New Order while working on this and the song “Bizarre Love Triangle” ended up being the song that really guided me through the last few pages. I would highly recommend checking it out! I think the lyrics fit well with this fic.

Fuck, what a beast. The audience, the team behind the curtains, his own brothers, everyone in the entire venue disappeared as Jake watched Danny bang out his solo during Safari Song–and he was, in fact, literally banging it out. Jake’s fingers lay almost idle over his own guitar, only subconscious movements hovering above the strings to follow Danny’s rhythm, his body wavering and moving back and forth gently as he watched, studied. He was a fucking beast. Not that that was news to Jake.

Jake’s attention was diverted at the sound of a particularly loud whoop from the crowd; his eyes moved across the stage to Sam, holding his bass and nodding and mouthing along with Danny’s beats. Next to him, Josh was bobbing along too, more loosely, a little dance building in his body that would have to wait until they could all get back onstage.

Danny’s movements, timing, skills, sheer power, total performance, all of it always blew Jake’s mind. He remembered when they were teenagers, when all of that power was there but it had taken time to truly bring it to life, years of dive bar gigs and what felt like endless garage practices to build all of that brawn. Now, Jake was practically hypnotized by it and enamored with the little variations Danny put into every single solo. It didn’t matter if they were playing two shows in a row–he always threw something different in there. Actually, Jake wasn’t sure if it was ever on purpose–Danny never gave him a straight answer, like it was a little secret, like maybe he himself didn’t even know. 

Jake felt his tongue wet his bottom lip, felt his fingers lightly touch the strings of his guitar again. Danny’s hair was flying around him, the muscles in his arms were bulging and tensing, and Jake could see the beads of sweat dripping down his biceps, his neck, his forehead; he wished more people could see Danny work from all angles. His full body was constantly in motion–not that it was different for any of them, but Danny worked it in a style that was beastly and completely unmatched. When he was at his kit, he was a god. There was no one else who could do it like him, and no other person who tore into Jake’s feelings like him.

Feelings–whether in the heart or just the dick, Jake wasn’t sure. Tonight, however, the dick feelings were definitely at the forefront. His hips twitched and he sank back against the wall for a moment when a rush of blood swelled in his groin, an erection blooming beneath his pants. 

Shit. At least the guitar would cover it. Even if it didn’t, the entire world had seen enough of all of them to not be surprised.

He brought his guitar even closer against himself, lifting his hips to brush his crotch against it. Inappropriate? Maybe. Subtle? He wasn’t sure. Then again, who was watching _him_ anyway? They still had two more songs to get through and he actually hoped the hard-on would last–he was already mentally mapping out how he’d get Danny alone backstage. 

-

He didn’t mean to corner Danny, but he needed to catch him before he was caught by Sam and Josh–Sam especially–in the lounge backstage. Jake gave himself enough time to chug half a bottle of Fiji and then he had Danny’s wrist in his hand, hard and warm and damp, the tendon flexing under his fingers.

“Hey,” Jake said. He wasn’t sure what to say, despite the mental plan–Danny and him had “fooled around” only once before, if you could even call it that. Jake had accosted him while particularly buzzed off of some really good whiskey. It had just happened. They had been alone–how often did that happen anymore?–and Jake had felt that same sort of rush of blood to his dick and it even twitched when Danny’s thigh had brushed against his. _So stoic_ , Jake had thought that night, looking at his bandmate from the side, until Danny laughed at something he’d said, and Jake hadn’t been able to keep himself from putting his hand on his bandmate’s thigh. So hard. He’d expected Danny to just ignore it, or subtly shake him off, but he’d actually leaned in closer and ran his hand along Jake’s abs over his shirt, an experimental, delicate touch. That was new.

With that stoic, avian-faced drummer standing in front of him, Jake needed to find the words, or at least the actions. He glanced down, feeling exposed, and saw an unmistakable bulge in Danny’s pants that hadn’t been there before the show. Jake smiled to himself but stopped himself from reaching out for it, instead inching closer and looking up into Danny’s eyes. “You’re hard.”

It actually was a surprise–it was usually Jake or his twin sporting the erections during and after shows. There was always so much energy, so much chaos and sound and color–it wasn’t ever sexual, except when Jake had started to get those _feelings_ for their drummer. Danny’s pants left much to the imagination anyway, the only one to still not give into skintight stage outfits, but Jake had never seen Danny sporting a boner. Apart from the one time he instigated one.

Danny’s face was already flushed so Jake couldn’t tell if he blushed more at the statement; one corner of Danny’s lips lifted in a short-lived smirk, his face returning to stoicism as his eyes raked down Jake’s own sweaty, partially-exposed body and landed on his crotch. “So are you.”

Alright, that was it–Jake tightened his grasp on Danny’s wrist and started to drag him along to, well, he wasn’t sure of where yet. Not the bathroom, no way; Josh and Sam could already be heard from the small lounge area, so he steered Danny out of that direction and opened the first door he could find, which was apparently an even smaller and dimly lit storage space of some kind. 

Jake didn’t care that Danny had 5 inches of height on him even in his Chelsea boots–he shoved him back against the door, the wood rattling until Jake pushed him firm against it and held him still, hands on his shoulders. His skin was hot and slick with sweat, dark strands of hair clinging to his neck and collar, and suddenly his chest was rising and falling hard and it wasn’t just from trying to recover after the show.

“Take it out,” Jake ordered, hands still frozen on Danny’s shoulders. They’d only fooled around _once_ and never like _that_ –this was a bold move on his part. He wasn’t sure it would go his way.

Danny slumped backwards and jutted his hips out, then brought his hands to the front of his pants and unbuckled, unzipped, the popping and metallic sounds ringing in Jake’s ears. He knew it was still weird for both of them–he was sure neither of them expected to ever fall for one another, even if it was just something primal, and Jake felt apprehension only because of that. But looking at Danny, the want was overwhelming. 

Their eyes met again, mossy amber shining through to deep umber, and Jake slid his hand over Danny’s shoulder blade to grip the back of his neck, pulling him down, giving just a moment for him to pull away, or even push him away, but that didn’t happen. Their mouths crashed together, Jake’s hungry and fierce kisses immediately overpowering Danny’s softer, more hesitant ones, and he eased off a bit. This was their first kiss and he wanted to feel as much as he could, even if he was sure they didn’t have enough time to do everything he wanted– he wanted to feel the sweat on Danny’s upper lip that just barely had the hint of shockingly soft stubble, his lips so much softer than he would have expected, the warm tongue that slipped over Jake’s bottom lip and then met his own, the strong hands then sliding past Jake’s half-open shirt, gripping his bare rib cage. His fingers could have dug in like vices but they didn’t–Danny was actually holding him, and then one of his hands slid down to wedge past Jake’s waistband, his fingers warm over his hip bone.

Jake took Danny’s bottom lip between his teeth as his hands slid down his torso–god, rock-solid and hot, that strip of coarse hair beneath his navel bringing every nerve in Jake’s fingertips to life. He got to the open fly and palmed Danny through his boxers– _huge_. Jake hadn’t forgotten that. But it wasn’t going to be just hesitant, juvenile touches this time–he was already sinking to his knees.

He pulled the splayed fabric away from Danny’s groin and cupped his covered balls in one hand, ran his fingers over his shaft with the other. He heard Danny’s breath hitch from above when two fingertips nudged over his slit, the tiniest bit of dampness swelling into the cotton. He looked up, giving him another chance to shove him off, but Danny only bit his lip, then shocked Jake even more by reaching down and lightly stroking his hair at the crown of his head. 

Jake brought his eyes down again–he’d never done this. He hadn’t even thought about blowing Danny. He hadn’t thought of much at all, he only knew that he wanted him and that was weird and maybe wrong but the wanting had only gotten stronger with each show, with each blast of those drums and each smirk on Danny’s face as he looked to the side of the stage, blazing eyes cutting through every particle of air to meet Jake’s, Sam’s, Josh’s. When Danny realized and commanded his own power, Jake couldn’t help but want him.

It was weird, Jake knew that, maybe even completely foolish and a huge mistake to be in his current position, but he wasn’t going to get into a whole internal monologue about his own sexuality. Fuck that. Instead, he exhaled those threatening thoughts out and pressed his mouth to Danny’s cock, inhaling sweat, musk, and faint remnants of laundry detergent. All of it was unknown to him before that moment–he’d never dreamed of shoving his face into another guy’s junk, but there he was, trading positions with every girl he’d ever been with. On his knees. He wondered what he looked like from that position, with Danny looming over him, all dark and hard and hot, this unstoppable force that Jake felt powerless to. That he was giving himself up to.

He didn’t have to wonder long though, because Danny stroked his fingers through Jake’s hair again–a little more tugging that time–and said very quietly, “You’re pretty.”

Jake paused with his lips still over his erection, considering that statement. He’d been called pretty–by fangirls, mostly, then the occasional girl he actually went to bed with–but he never thought of himself that way. Not pretty–didn’t the attempts at stubble, his cut jawline, razor cheekbones and big, sharp teeth that grew into a biting smile give him away?

But he wanted to believe it when Danny said it. Danny wasn’t saying he was a pretty _girl_ , he was saying Jake himself was pretty, dick and all. 

His cheeks flushed impossibly hot and he knew how totally inexperienced he must have looked in that moment; he slid his tongue forward to warm up against Danny’s cock, wetting the fabric, giving it a shot. He was there, after all, getting what he wanted even if he hadn’t known that was what he’d wanted all along. He laved it over a couple inches of his shaft, still experimenting with the feeling, then suctioned his lips over the head and sucked, tongue brushing over fabric and getting an almost undetectable taste of precum. 

Danny groaned quietly, fingertips raking over Jake’s scalp. With Danny’s size, he could be so easily overtaken and he worried for a moment that his hair might be tugged too roughly, jaw gripped too hard by a rough hand, inexperienced mouth worked too carelessly; but Danny didn’t tighten his hold in Jake’s hair or even move his hips. Jake moved back a couple inches, looking at the darkened cotton, and swallowed as he pulled down the waistband and released that big, hard cock. 

“Fuck.” Jake couldn’t stop himself from saying out loud. It wasn’t just an omission of arousal on his own part, it was also fear. Fear of what to do with that. Hands, he could figure out, but a blowjob felt way out of his league.

Danny chuckled a little–Jake hoped it was partially from nerves, too–and pet some of his hair back, making Jake look up at him. He thought Danny was going to say something profound, or at least give him some encouragement, but all that came from his flushed mouth was, “Um–”

“Um” indeed. _Fuck it_ , Jake thought again. He was there, he was going to do it. He wanted to, as much as the thought frightened him. Besides, it was literally right in front of his face, big and dark pink and leaking, that being an invitation in and of itself.

He took Danny in his hand and made his grasp firm, sure of himself for that single second maybe, but stroked hesitantly. He didn’t want to still need words of encouragement, but he couldn’t do this with Danny so still and so quiet, nothing happening between them but Jake’s still-straining erection in his own jeans and Danny’s deep breaths that couldn’t be determined as him being into it or merely paralyzed.

“I–I’ve never, Danny,” Jake said, looking up again. Was it also foolish that he wanted to kiss him again? 

“I figured,” Danny replied with a smirk and a snort. He exhaled and his head fell back against the door, giving Jake a view of his neck, Adam’s apple bobbing as he said, “I want you to, you know, if you–”

That was cut off by a gasp from above while Jake dove face-first, mouth open and fingers gripped around that cock; he let his thoughts burst like bubbles in his head, replaced those with the surprised and choked moans from Danny as he did his best as sucking on the head of his cock and stroking with his hand. His pubes were damp with sweat, his balls already feeling so full and ready, warm beneath Jake’s curled thumb, and the precum that slid over his tongue only made him hungrier.

If he could have, he would have just gone down all the way right then and there, but Jake knew that, even with all his inexpert slobbering and sucking to help himself out, he’d have to go easy on himself. He worried for a moment that he was being too clumsy or not doing enough hand and tongue work at the same time or maybe was just downright bad, but Danny moaned from low in his chest and tugged at Jake’s hair again. So it _was_ working. 

Jake shoved the ache in his knees aside, that overtaken by the ache in his own pants. He was still so hard under there, he was even tempted to hump Danny’s leg to get his own release. He squirmed a little on his knees but continued, pressing Danny’s cock up along his abdomen so he could drag his tongue up its length. So hot; so thick, even the veins thick and soft under his tongue, contrasted by how hard his shaft was. Jake felt like there was no more of Danny he could ever experience, nothing that would be quite so brazenly intimate as this–sucking him off. 

Danny groaned and arched his back, jutting his hips out and sending his cock further into Jake’s mouth. He realized he hadn’t breathed in a minute and backed off from sucking the head again, switching Danny over into his right hand, half of his cock slick and shiny with saliva, more precum beading at his slit. Dizziness hit him, a swirl of stars in his head, and he sank down lower on his knees in realization: god, he was just _tired_. Charged up but tired, and suddenly once again so unsure of himself–not unsure of his desire but unsure of his ability to harness the object of desire. To reel in and contain Danny, to keep him there long enough to get what he wanted but then what? Just pretend it never happened?

Danny looked down; Jake looked up, flushed not only from exertion but also embarrassment. He looked back to the floor beneath himself and then Danny was bending down, putting his hands under Jake’s armpits and bringing him to his feet again. 

“You okay?” he asked, a familiar, innocent warmth in his eyes. He really did care. 

Jake laughed a little, nervous and breathless, and nodded. “Yeah, man, I just–fuck, I don’t know.” He paused for a moment, eyes moving down Danny’s bare chest and abdomen to his dick still hard and jutting out, pressing into his hip. “I want to, I’m just–not good at this, maybe.”

“You’re definitely not bad,” Danny replied. Jake felt too embarrassed to look at him, but then Danny asked, “Can we kiss again?”

Jake was surprised, despite being consciously aware that they’d already done that and more and Danny clearly wasn’t trying to escape.“You want to?”

Danny dipped down in response, gently pressing his lips to the corner of Jake’s mouth; Jake turned a little, their lips meeting flush, and pressing his hands against Danny’s chest. He didn’t even realize he was doing it at first, but he was grinding his crotch against Danny’s thigh, his covered hip brushing up against his hard-on. Danny’s tongue slid over his own as he grabbed Jake’s waist and repositioned him, bringing them chest-to-chest.

Jake’s breath hitched as Danny’s hands moved down to his hips and then to the fly of his pants; when the button came undone he felt like he could breathe again, and when the zipper came down he felt like the sound was amplified, like it filled the little room and beyond–maybe Josh and Sam could even hear it but no, that wasn’t possible. Jake was alone with Danny, the big, gentle beast who could so easily shove him against the wall and do whatever, but instead he was holding Jake carefully in his arms, caressing his back and cupping his ass.

He kissed Danny harder and brought one hand to the side of his neck, fingers sliding beyond sweat-dampened hair and over his skin, the pad of Jake’s thumb at the base of his throat, feeling his pulse flutter. He was doing that to Danny, making his heart race–it made him even harder, already aching to burst when Danny took him out of his pants and boxers and gripped him in his hand. He was kissing Danny desperately, so hungrily, both of them moaning and licking and biting; Jake let him go so he could unbutton the rest of his own shirt, giving Danny the opportunity to touch as much as he might want to, and Jake hoped he did want to. 

He started back up, grinding his cock into Danny’s, who groaned and broke away from Jake’s mouth to press his lips to his neck. Jake wasn’t surprised by how gentle Danny’s kisses were, but he was surprised at how much he was loving them–he gasped and moaned, his hands gripping Danny’s waist a little longer before he reached one hand down between them, grabbing hold of his cock again. 

Danny’s teeth scraped along Jake’s throat and he asked, “Want me to–?”

“Yeah,” Jake breathed, nearly quivering against Danny. Nerves, desire, fire and ice flooding his veins and driving into his muscles–there was so much happening. He wanted Danny to touch him, kiss him, lick him, do anything. In that moment, with Danny kissing the vulnerable skin of his neck and slowly wrapping his hand around his cock, Jake felt like he had waited for forever–maybe he’d wanted this even longer than he’d realized.

It was, Jake admitted silently to himself, a little awkward–a little mess of arms and hands, the height difference making it even more awkward, since Danny had to bend down just to get a decent hold on Jake. His hand was strong and warm, the soft pads right under his first knuckles giving such light pressure, then his palm giving the density needed to hold Jake’s cock tight enough to make him squirm and leak his own precum; he looked down and saw the little glossy shine on Danny’s curled forefinger, the head of his cock leaking into Jake’s hand again too.

Then Danny’s hands were somewhere else, on his hips again, and he was being corralled back against the desk, a box being pushed and knocked to the floor as Jake’s ass replaced it there; Danny looked concerned for a moment–Jake assumed because of the crash it made–but Jake laughed and spread his legs, grabbing his own cock again, and reached up to grab the back of Danny’s neck. 

“You’re–so hot,” Jake said. He meant it, but it still felt like such a weird thing to say to one of his best friends. Well, his actual best friend if you didn’t include his twin. Jake and Danny were best friends even if Sam and Danny were also best friends–he was actually really surprised that Sam hadn’t beaten him to this. Or maybe he had, considering Danny sure had a lot of confidence with handjobs.

Some sort of confession began to pour out of him as he kept Danny there, both of them idle as Jake continued: “Watching you play has become more and more–unreal. I’m just stuck there, man, like I can’t look away. And I don’t even want to, but then I–” He fought the urge to look away from Danny’s eyes, keeping them locked together instead, this heat building between them. “I realized I want you. In some way, I just want you. I got so fucking hard watching you tonight, it’s fucked up–”

“I don’t think it’s fucked up,” Danny replied, more confidence searing those words in Jake’s mind, but one corner of his mouth turned up for a moment as one eyebrow raised ever-so-slightly.

“No, it’s not like that,” Jake said, voice hoarse. He was shocked neither one of them had lost their erections by then.

Perhaps with that also in mind, Danny moved closer between Jake’s legs, lining their groins up again; he grabbed hold of both of their cocks in one hand, and Jake looked down and moaned quietly. God, his hands were big enough to do that–not big enough to get full coverage, but big enough to keep them together and stroke a little, and Danny ground himself into Jake as he did that. He leaned in to kiss Jake again, right hand cradling the back of his head–the kisses were open-mouthed and wet, and Jake clung to his bare, damp skin again, eventually relinquishing his right hand to meet Danny’s. Those fingers lifted and Jake did what he could to grasp both of them, and then Danny’s hand wrapped back around too, their fingers overlapping one another’s.

Finally Jake felt like he was completely in it, no worries creeping back to him to ruin what felt like such a divine moment, a moment that would never happen again. He hoped they’d have more experiences like this–in maybe more comfortable venues–but this was really the first time. It would never be this special ever again.

His left hand moved up Danny’s side and shoulder to his neck again, holding him as they kissed. Danny didn’t stop kissing him; Jake didn’t want him to. He loved the way their tongues moved together, he loved how warm Danny’s lips were and how he manipulated his mouth to fit his own so perfectly–it was just like how they played. How they jammed, how they recorded, how they tore the world apart onstage. They just got one another–the quiet ones. The ones who always had something to say but maybe just needed an extra second to articulate it, just needed someone who would actually listen.

Jake was listening. He was tethered to Danny’s soft moans against his mouth, how they just flowed out of him so naturally, like maybe he’d thought about this even more than he himself had. The moans from both of them only changed when Danny’s hand was lost from the back of his head and Jake cried out as his nipple was gently pinched; he flushed, both from that but also the shame of such a noise being elicited from him from such a simple action, but Danny smiled, seemingly satisfied.

He was flushed too, though–rosy and sweaty, even more hair clinging to his temples and forehead, his chest heaving a little. Good, Jake thought, because he was also about to lose it, and he was going to lose it even more quickly if Danny–

The pad of Danny’s thumb brushed over his nipple and his lips met Jake’s mouth sloppily. “Jake–you close?”

Jake let his eyes close, head falling back a bit, just feeling–listening and feeling, first the nerves in his lips brought to life, then down and down further to the increasingly sticky, hot place that both their hands were still working over. He didn’t know why it felt so good, it was just hands–no, he corrected himself, not just hands. Danny’s strong hand taking the lead with Jake’s slighter, more delicate fingers underneath, and the friction from Danny grinding on him and Jake bucking against him. He hadn’t even realized how much bumping and grinding they’d been doing, but then the sound of the desk shaking and scraping against the floor sounded in his ears. As much as it unnerved him, he loved it. He loved Danny not disappointing–surprising Jake, even–by giving him a taste of the beast he saw onstage every night.

“Yeah,” Jake answered, opening his eyes. He could feel the slew of curses building in his throat, those choked out by the growing weight in his chest, his groin, his balls, his cock–they were both so slick with precum they hadn’t even needed spit, Jake realized that too, and he could feel it coming on with each stroke, each push of Danny’s hips into his and each scrape of the desk against the floor, cutting through their moans.

His left hand groped abruptly for any part of Danny he could grab, settling on his lower back, almost his ass; fuck, it felt good, all the hard friction and muscle and heat, and he was about to cum all over the both of them, and the strange, new thought of Danny’s cum on his body made Jake shiver and dig his fingertips into Danny’s back.

His eyes shut and he bit his lip, strangling those curses and moans that were pleading to breach, and came–it was hot and slick over his own hand, undoubtedly Danny’s as well, and landed on his belly and he felt a droplet or two land in the center of his torso. He was shaking then, quivering and practically wheezing with his calves clamped around Danny’s thighs–he wanted that moment to last forever, for that high to never waver and plummet. 

Danny freed Jake’s cock from his hand but kept them pressed together, his knuckles still rubbing over Jake’s spent and sensitive self, as he stroked himself; Jake opened his eyes once more, unwilling to miss even a second of whatever type of orgasm this beast was going to have, and all because of him. 

Danny’s fingers threaded through his hair again, caressing the back of his head and bringing him up at an angle to kiss his mouth; Jake sighed and moaned, let Danny’s tongue struggle to find his own as his breath became more ragged and his grinding more frantic. Jake spread his legs wider and tilted his hips up and moved his hands to Danny’s ass–also hard. Jesus, what wasn’t?

“Oh fuck,” Danny moaned quietly against Jake’s cheek, pressing the sides of their faces together, those ragged, on-the-edge breaths in Jake’s ear. He felt another few strokes over his own cock and Danny tugged at his hair, and then there was another burst of hot fluid all over his stomach and even on his chest, so hot Jake could have sworn it was burning right through his skin.

He wanted to let himself fall flat back against the desk, but he had both the boxes to inhibit that and Danny still keeping him propped up; after a moment, Danny’s fingers trailed out of his hair and both of his hands landed on his shoulders, though their groins were still pressed together. He looked completely spent but so glorious–shining, dark, a sex face unlike any other Jake had ever seen before with those cheekbones painted red and his eyes so glossy bright like they’d been lacquered by God himself.

“You’re covered,” Danny noted, laughing a little as his eyes scanned down Jake’s body. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

Jake looked down too, confirming what he had felt earlier and, yes, he was covered. It was strange to see–it wasn’t even something he’d ever fantasized about, but he bet if he weren’t so exhausted, he would have gotten another hard-on just from looking at himself like that. Still, he sincerely hoped they could find some paper towels or something in there. “It’s okay.”

Danny backed off and looked around, apparently for the same thing Jake had been thinking about. He bent down, came up again, moved two feet to the side and bent down again, rummaging through piles. He stood up and looked triumphant with the roll of half-used paper towels in hand, a little lint from the floor stuck to the bottom edge; he moved into Jake again and tore two off the roll.

Jake thought he was going to be handed them, but instead Danny carefully mopped up and wiped away their release, meticulously going over his chest and torso and down to his belly, and then even to both their crotches. He grimaced a little but laughed too as he held up the gloopy wad of paper towels, and Jake chuckled too–it wasn’t going to be a perfect clean-up until they were both showered, but at least he could then button up his pants and shirt and not feel totally disgusting.

“I don’t know what to do with this,” Danny said, holding the paper towels out, looking around the room.

Jake did too, but there was no wastebasket to be found. He shrugged in response and also to get his shirt back over his shoulders. “Just leave it.”

“Gross! No.”

He paused and raised an eyebrow as he grinned. “So put it in your pocket, dude. A souvenir. A commemoration of our first time.”

It almost looked like Danny was considering doing just that. “There was a first time before this.”

“No,” Jake protested. That other first time had been nothing like what they’d just done together–a few experimental, cautious touches didn’t even compare to the mess they’d made, to the tangled web of something inarticulate in Jake’s chest. “Not like this. Come on.” 

Danny stepped forward and ducked down to kiss Jake’s forehead. “Dude, I know.”

Jake looked up in awe and wonder all over again–a forehead kiss? He hoped he wasn’t looking up at Danny like a lovesick puppy but that’s sort of how he felt–that first time had something, something beyond merely allowing him to get his rocks off with such a beautiful and fascinating young man–his best friend. His bandmate. His brother. It wasn’t that simple. 

He didn’t know what to do with that realization, but that was what Jake felt. They had had their first real time together, but that kiss and the softness in Danny’s face told him that wouldn’t be the end of it. Jake didn’t know how to put the relief he felt because of that innate knowledge into words from his lips, but he felt the web in his chest untangle a little, and then a little more when Danny held the sides of his face and smiled as he ran his thumbs along his cheekbones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a reader on wattpad said, "Danny is spicy today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite how much I grappled with this, I think this chapter turned out even better than the first.

They hadn’t talked about it, not a single word. Jake didn’t know how he _should_ feel, but how he actually felt was complicated. He wanted more from Danny, but more what? When he thought about hooking up again–which felt like a weird phrase to use regarding his friend, brother, bandmate–he was met with the same lust he’d felt coiling and expanding for so long, but then an emptiness when he thought about the silence he assumed would follow. Why would another time be any different than that one? 

He wished he could stop thinking. He wished he could have someone else tell him how to feel. Not Josh–he couldn’t tell Josh, as much as he sometimes wanted to. It was difficult to keep such a “dirty little secret” from his twin, even more difficult when Jake knew his heavy glances at Danny at any given time did not go unnoticed. Sam seemed somewhat oblivious to all of it, Jake assumed that was easier because Danny apparently didn’t utter a word even to his best friend about what went on. 

The worst part was the not knowing. While Jake felt unable to control the longing looks and occasional sighs, Danny showed no signs of wanting anything at all. 

Except this night, after all four of them went out after the show, which seemed to happen so rarely these days. Jake wanted to be excited–he should have been excited–but he was dreading it. His interactions with Danny had been confined to travel and performance, not much in between, and he wasn’t sure what would happen once he got some alcohol into his system. Well, more alcohol than the shot he took backstage. He felt like a tide pool, with all these things just hanging out inside him and the salt water crawling up the shore at high tide to fill him and fill him until he poured right over. 

Hopefully not. But his chest was full and heavy as they all piled into the uber, Josh immediately getting up front despite the mild disturbance on the driver’s face. They needed the room, with Danny’s build and stature and Sam’s limbs alone, so Jake got between the two of them in the back. He was hyper-aware of Danny’s thigh pressed against his own, of their shoulders shoved together and the heat permeating from the drummer’s body. Yes, he wanted more. Of everything. As much as Danny would give him.

He felt the dense forearm move behind his head and nearly jolted forward before catching himself, Sam’s presence on his right and Josh’s eyes glancing in the side mirror to the backseat reminding him that he wasn’t alone. Jake expected Danny’s arm to stretch further, maybe literally just to stretch or maybe to get Sam’s attention, but his fingers brushed a whisper through Jake’s hair instead.

A tingle ran down his spine, sharp and cold. He shifted on the middle seat, the heels of his boots clacking together as his legs moved, and did his best to ignore it, but it came again, more significant this time. Danny looped a strand of Jake’s hair around his finger and toyed with it.

Jake lost his breath, wondering for a moment if his entire heart had disappeared. He turned his head just enough, barely a millimeter, to see Danny’s expression. It was dark and a little blurred but Jake could see it–total complacence. Nothing to indicate if Danny was just as breathless and hot as him, which reinstated that tingle down Jake’s spine and made him squirm.

At least he could chalk his silence up to being silent quite regularly as Sam and Josh yapped away and Danny chimed in with some low-spoken anecdotes. Jake wished they could just get to the damn bar already. He _needed_ a drink then, needed to toss his hair behind his shoulder and leave Danny’s touch behind him. But then he started thinking about backing Danny up against a wall again, in some dark corner, maybe the bathroom, maybe outside, and touching him with far more intention. He knew what that body really looked like then, what Danny looked like when he was giving himself up and also making Jake give himself up, shoving them together, making them one thing. 

_One thing._ Did Jake want that? _Really_ want that?

Danny didn’t stop playing with that same strand of hair until they got to the bar. Josh hopped out first, waiting on the passenger side instead of blazing ahead of them into the bar like he usually did. Jake’s heart raced as Danny’s fingers left his hair and his body moved away, out the driver’s side and into the night, and Jake was almost literally left in limbo.

He didn’t want Josh to say anything. When they met side by side, it looked like he was about to, lips parting and a slight flash of white teeth, eyebrows raised, but Jake shot him the darkest, most serious “don’t you dare” look he could muster and Josh left it alone. It didn’t feel good. Even if he’d gotten Josh to be silent, Jake had definitely given himself away right then.

Inside, Sam was already leaning over the bar, limbs everywhere, Danny right at his hip and propped up on his hands, back curved just enough as he stretched to make Jake’s eyes grow wide as he looked. It was like he had x-ray vision in that moment, like he could see the curve of Danny’s spine and the waves of golden skin laid over that bone and muscle, the way it shifted and stretched and the way it would melt under Jake’s hands.

He was making himself hard just by thinking about it. He sat himself as the bar on Sam’s other side, not daring to look over at Danny. But even Sam would notice the one-sided tension, the strangeness, eventually. 

They all did a shot, they all got their drinks and it all felt normal, apart from Jake’s own internal monologue and introspection. He tried to keep his eyes off Danny but they were too close, all having migrated to a table in the corner. They needed to get away from people–Sam had already expressed he’d hoped the mildly obscure bar would keep them away from fans and Josh, surprisingly enough, had herded them into the dark corner. 

Danny’s foot lightly kicked Jake’s shin from underneath the table; he shot up in his seat, spine erect and eyes wide again, but Danny only murmured “sorry.” Jake’s heart sank, as silly as it may have been, realizing that it meant nothing. With the beer in his hand and the shot of whiskey in his blood, he was already spiraling–he wanted Danny. _Still_ wanted Danny. It didn’t seem like it was reciprocated, no matter how tender and ambiguous their last meeting had been.

Jake chugged the beer in a few seconds, seemingly unnoticed by his brothers, and set the glass down with a muted thud. Before he could change his mind he announced, “I’m going back to the hotel.”

Sam’s chin jutted up first, probably annoyed Jake was dismissing their little party; before he could speak, Josh beat him to it with a simple but very demanding, “Why?”

Jake mustered as casual of a shrug as he could. “I’m tired. We had a big show.” He still couldn’t look at Danny but he saw the dark shape shift; Sam squinted at him as Josh’s teeth sank into his bottom lip, eyebrows lowering, thinking of how to get him to stay for sure, or at least _really_ spill his guts. He ended up protesting a bit, as did Sam, their chorus ringing through Jake’s ears as the additional alcohol in his exhausted body swept through, and he felt like he might stagger if he didn’t exit right then and there, never looking to Danny once.

But, not long after he headed out the door and down the street, following more intuition than actual knowledge, he felt a familiar warmth on his heels. He didn’t need to turn–Danny sidled up next to him quickly.

Jake’s skin became alive even without touching–every pore, every hair, every nerve brought to life with the mere presence next to him. He still couldn’t look at Danny’s face, though. He wasn’t prepared. He just wanted to get a drink at the hotel by himself and go to bed. Maybe jerk off to the memory of their past experimentation. Jake didn’t like that word, but he wasn’t sure of what else to call it.

“Kind of a long walk,” Danny remarked, making him jump a little. It was the first thing he’d said directly to him all night. Or maybe he’d said it to no one in particular–when Jake looked over, Danny was still looking ahead.

“I don’t mind,” Jake said, a half-truth. He hadn’t thought to call an uber, having been just so desperate to get out of the bar and be alone. But Danny was right, it was a long walk, and now he was regretting the extended amount of time he’d apparently set himself up to have with the strong, silent type.

He silently wished both of their silences would end, but they kept walking along, Danny apparently not daring to touch Jake anymore and Jake still not daring to speak up. What would he even say? 

Stupidly, he realized he would need to say something given that Danny was literally following him back to the hotel, and Jake knew it wouldn’t be them going to their separate rooms. Something was going to happen. 

He waited until they got there, sweat bursting forth from his hairline as Jake entered the air conditioned lobby, the residual heat from the night air and Danny’s body next to his too much even for the crisp, recirculated air. Boots clacking on the floor, Jake paused their clamor and turned to finally look at Danny: “Are you going to your room?”

Danny seemed to hesitate, amber eyes dropping to the floor for only a second before pulling in Jake’s gaze. “I have some vodka that Sam and I didn’t finish.”

Jake started to walk again. “Pass. I’m done drinking tonight.”

Danny followed. “Do I need an excuse to hang out with you now?”

Instinctively, Jake’s brow furrowed, but he kept walking. So close to the elevator. But even his own prickly reaction couldn’t stop the want–the want for Danny and the want for answers, something, anything to let him know what was going on, if Danny felt it all too. He didn’t answer, just kept going, just paused outside the elevator and reached out to push the button, his heart thumping into his throat as they stepped inside and the doors shut and Danny’s shoulder brushed against his again.

Jake shoved himself back against the inside of the elevator. Looking ahead at the buttons being lit up one by one, the ascension steady but still feeling so painfully slow, he said, “If you come to my room, you’re not leaving until morning.” Danny didn’t respond, but Jake caught the faintest smile on his lips from his peripheral. 

He had to remind himself to breathe as they approached his room, both of their footsteps dulled on the beige carpet. It felt like the longest walk, that 12 second interval to the room door, the beeping of the key card almost making Jake jump. He hesitated on the inside, not sure what to do with himself and not sure how to make his promise–threat?–a reality, but Danny just moved past him and sat on the bed, lying back with his legs hanging over the edge of the mattress.

“You’re right,” he said, profile pointed straight up at the ceiling, his hair sprawled out on the pristine made bed. “We did have a big show. It’s like I can feel that crack in my finger again.”

Jake missed that, just talking. His heart was still racing and he felt far more buzzed than a single shot and one beer should have left him, so he inhaled the chemically-laced air of his hotel room, kicked his boots off and went behind Danny to sit and lean against the headboard. Danny didn’t move, and Jake traced the curves and angles of his face with his eyes, the desire to lean forward and tilt his chin up, kiss him, feel his bones, was becoming overwhelming.

“Did you tell Sam?” Jake asked abruptly instead. A stupid question he already knew the answer to.

Danny turned from underneath him, tilting his head and raising his brows as he glanced up. “No. Should I have?”

Jake looked down. “No. I don’t know, dude.” He felt like a girl–a needy, hormonal, possessive but utterly confused girl. He felt like he could sympathize with women then–why were men so quiet about everything? He couldn’t be anymore. “I want something from you,” he went on, trying to be careful with his words. “But I’m not sure what it is.”

Danny sat up and turned, giving him another view of his profile. There was a beat before his face turned more and his eyes met Jake’s. “You did something to me, Jake.” 

Jake panicked. He didn’t know if he heard regret in Danny’s voice but regret could easily be woven into those words. “I didn’t–I didn’t try to–”

Danny actually laughed a little. “No, I know. But like, since the first time you touched me–” He paused and shifted on the bed again so they were facing each other. “I wanted more. I was actually really glad when you, uh, approached me, you know.” He flashed his teeth and chuckled, blushing.

That made Jake blush in turn. “Yeah, I thought I was being smooth, I guess.”

Another laugh. “You were not smooth, Jake. You said ‘hey’ and then ordered me to take my dick out. I can’t imagine how you are with girls.”

Jake scoffed, offended. “Not like that. But you’re–you, Danny. The big man.” He inched closer until their knees were touching. “You can handle yourself.”

Danny smirked. “Can handle you, too.”

His heart was pounding again but not from panic, just from the ever-expanding nerves that burned hot in his body and made his spine tingle again, and his dick; Jake lunged forward into his lap and pressed him down, shoving his knees down hard enough against Danny’s thighs to get him to lay out completely. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you can,” Jake agreed. He had already broken a sweat and he was sure Danny could see the little beads of moisture on his upper lip cast with the slight stubble he could muster after a day and a half of not shaving. He grabbed Danny’s wrists as he scooched his ass down, pressing them groin-to-groin. “But I’m not some bottom bitch.”

Danny’s mouth twisted a bit and his eyes softened. “I never said you were.” Jake leaned back; Danny freed his wrists from the guitarist’s hold and latched them to his ass, pulling him forward again until their noses were almost touching. “I wouldn’t mind though–”

Jake’s lips parted slightly, a near-silent gasp whispering beyond them as Danny’s hands squeezed his ass through his jeans. Jake had never had anyone touch him like that and he liked it–he’d never straddled someone like that, at least not someone who had nearly half a foot in height on him, not to mention strength. He could even see it in Danny’s jaw–cut, defined, thick and strong. He felt all too aware of his pathetic stubble then, of how small he was and how light, of how easily Danny really could make him be a “bottom bitch.”

“What do you want?” Jake asked. Clarification would help. Plus, he didn’t want to have to articulate his own answer to the question. 

“Is it bad to say ‘I don’t know?’” Danny asked, sliding his hands into the back pockets of Jake’s jeans. “I liked what we did before, even if it was in some shitty closet.” His eyes flicked down and then up again. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done what I did in the uber. I didn’t even really think about it, honestly, but maybe you’re fun to tease–”

Jake almost leaped off him, but he ground himself down harder instead, making Danny groan quietly. “‘Fun to tease?’ Fuck off, Danny.”

“You fuck off, you’re the flirt,” Danny retorted, sliding one hand up and then down, shoving it beyond the waistband of Jake’s jeans to grab his bare ass. “Not a smooth flirt, though.”

“How would you know?” Jake asked, doing his best to not let Danny’s warm hand faze him. “I’ve never flirted with you.”

“I’ve seen you eye-fucking me when I do ‘Safari.’ You think I never noticed?”

Jake started to falter and stammer. “I–I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Danny said, bringing his other hand to the back of Jake’s neck and pulling him down. He pressed his mouth to the side of his neck and teeth met skin. “I noticed.”

Jake squirmed and then nearly collapsed entirely on top of him as that tender skin was nipped and sucked. They hadn’t given each other hickeys before and the thought of displaying a mark from Danny sent more blood south, made Jake rock back and forth to grind himself down; he hissed when Danny moved to a new spot and did the same thing but harder, undoubtedly popping a few more blood vessels along the way. 

The hand on his ass slid up and out, then long fingers dealt with Jake’s fly, getting it open as Danny continued to bite and suck and Jake closed his eyes. Whatever was going to happen, he felt like he was going to let it, to welcome it. He craned his neck up and away from Danny’s mouth, moving down the hard, dense body to pluck at buttons and open fabric to reveal a smooth, warm chest. Danny took a deep breath and his belly and chest expanded beneath him; Jake didn’t look up at Danny for permission of any kind, just kissed his chest and rubbed with his nose, licked and sucked. He was taking his time, doing the things he could then do with the whole hotel room at their disposal and the entire night. 

His skin tasted so different from all the various women’s chests and necks Jake had had in his time, but it was still so soft, so responsive under his mouth. Danny’s tan skin bloomed fuchsia wherever Jake left bites, wherever he sucked long enough for him to moan and grab Jake’s hair; one leg raised up at an angle, threatening to throw him off, so Jake straddled that thigh to bring it back down again and slid his right hand to Danny’s crotch.

Danny tilted his head back, exposing more of that caramel skin along the column of his throat, so Jake attacked again while he cupped Danny over his boxers; the noises from his chest and throat turned into louder vocalizations and a hiss when he sucked on his Adam’s apple hard enough to leave a bruise. 

Danny grabbed Jake’s wrist. “What are we gonna do all night if I’m not allowed to leave?”

Jake sat back and used his free hand to move aside more of Danny’s open shirt. “I won’t be able to do anything if you won’t let me.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Danny asked, “What do you want me to do to you?”

Jake thought it over briefly, running his fingertips along Danny’s chest down to his abdomen. “I don’t know. But I wanna do all the things I’ve thought about.”

Danny smirked. “Like?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Jake began, his eyes fixed on Danny’s damp, flushed and bruised and bitten chest. “I jerk off to you. You know that by now, I’m sure. But when I do it, everything seems so fast, like–there’s not just one concrete fantasy or whatever. I just think about you.” He lifted his eyes to look into Danny’s, subdued by the warmth in his face. “I just think about what it would be like to touch you, to have you touch me, to kiss, to fuck.”

“So let’s just go with it,” Danny suggested, his nonchalance enviable and unachievable–Jake would always be an overthinker. 

He let Danny unbutton his shirt, his body too far away for the drummer to kiss and lick but his hands did their own loving–long, gentle caresses of Jake’s collarbones, sternum, ribs, like Danny was playing a rhythm on his bones. He slid his big hands down Jake’s waist and squeezed playfully along the way, the feather-like touches of his fingertips making Jake start to giggle, to which Danny chuckled and smirked. 

The shirt was off and Danny explored more, bare skin on bare skin, pulling Jake down nearly enough to press their chests together while fingertips traced his spine all the way down, then back up and around his shoulder blades. Jake tilted his chin down, let his lips just touching Danny’s enough for a kiss to start to take shape, to overcome them both until they were grabbing and tearing at one another, biting and sucking on each other’s lips and tongues. Jake could taste mouthwash, beer, the biological trace of Danny’s own unique flavor that he hadn’t forgotten and then metal, and he pulled away, finding his bottom lip weeping the slightest bit of slick, shiny blood.

“It’s okay,” Danny said, licking his lip. He chuckled and groped at Jake’s jeans, pulling the open fly further apart. “Not some ‘bottom bitch,’ I see it now.” 

In turn, Jake reached for Danny’s crotch too, forgoing the boxers and diving straight under the elastic waistband to wrap his hand around that thick, hard cock he also hadn’t forgotten about. “You see it now? You didn’t see it before when I backed you up against a wall?”

“I know you secretly–sometimes not so secretly–like to be in charge,” Danny said before exhaling, his eyes looking down to Jake’s hand for a second. “I trust you, Jake. You can be in charge if you want.”

He was not used to being told that. No, Jake was always fighting for control–he’d been fighting for it since he was a kid and figured he’d continue to fight for it forever. Danny giving it to him wasn’t a shock in that if there was one person out of Greta Van Fleet to give up control, it would be him, but this was not the band. This was not them writing a song or Jake working on a riff or them in a recording session, it was just him and Danny, half-naked, completely hard and apparently both ready to give in to one another. 

“You can’t tease me,” Jake said, ever so slightly working up to a stroke underneath Danny’s boxers. “If you touch me, that means you’re going to give it to me.”

Danny’s face flushed crimson but he smirked. “Give what to you?”

“Everything,” came Jake’s answer, no hesitation granted. “I want everything from you.”

Danny reached one hand up and twirled a lock of Jake’s hair through his fingers as he gently urged him down inch by inch. “Then you’ve got it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake gets...everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly think I blacked out while writing this chapter. What a wild ride...and so worth it.

More kisses led to more touching, Jake’s hands seeming to take on a mind of their own or maybe lack of entirely. He wasn’t thinking then, he was just doing, and Danny was responding–the soft little sighs and airy moans as Jake kissed and sucked inch after inch of naked skin crescendoed into agonized groans and pleas as he teased and tormented below the waist. His hand was still wrapped around Danny’s erection, which seemed to grow even harder with each little stroke and was weeping continuously onto his fingers and his abdomen, the pearly gloss so shiny Jake was tempted to lap it all up. 

Another groan. “Jake–if I can’t tease you, you can’t tease me.” Danny looked up at him with pleading eyes and his irises shifted to a darker, richer amber.

Jake’s gaze left those eyes, traveling down his exposed figure. The male body. It had never appealed to him much before, not in a sexual sense, though he always found certain men to admire. He liked muscles even if he didn’t care to achieve Josh’s level of bulky bicep definition, let alone Danny’s, but the drummer was leaving him drooling as he stared, his own slender naked form perched on a sturdy thigh again. 

He shifted carefully, incidentally getting a weird sort of massage of his balls with Danny’s leg, then a tan hand reached out and grabbed for his own hard-on. Jake let him, surging his hips forward to thrust once into Danny’s palm, and stroked the other harder. He closed his eyes, let the warmth of Danny’s hand and the heat in his own take over, but after a minute the slight grinding on his thigh wasn’t enough.

Jake rolled over onto his back, cocking one leg up and reaching one arm out. “Get on top of me.”

Danny turned on his side quickly. One thigh pressed against the other and then Danny was straddling him, pressing that angled knee down with his other leg; he grabbed Jake’s wrists and put them over his head but there was no dominance in the action, rather he clasped them gently and waited for a protest before hooking them up and pressing them carefully down into the mattress. 

Jake spread his legs, letting him sink between them so their groins were pressed together and their leaking cocks were rubbing against each other’s, the heat and friction almost becoming painful but Danny seemed to like it, with a toss of his head and eyes closed, a deep breath exuding from his chest. Jake liked it too, liked it more than he expected with how fast his heart was beating and how overwhelmed by the heat and skin he felt. He closed his eyes again and then felt Danny moving lower, folding over him, soft strands of hair falling into his face; he squirmed and opened his eyes but shut them again when his bandmate’s mouth took his, a hard, deep kiss stealing his breath.

He needed to feel more. Jake wiggled his wrists free without much effort and wrapped both hands around Danny’s neck–he felt him freeze and tense, the kisses coming to a pause, until it was clear Jake’s intentions were tender. He circled his neck lightly, thumbs meeting at the base of his throat to feel each ragged breath between the kisses, and his fingertips splayed over his nape and the shorter, coarser hairs at the base of his scalp; he kept one hand there while the other moved down his shoulder, gripping at hard muscle and tracing prominent veins, further down to fortified ribs and that solid abdomen and then landing on his hip.

There was a statement so low and soft it was barely more than a whisper in Jake’s ear: “I want you.”

His entire body was tingling, so painfully alive. “How?” Jake asked, the reminder that Danny never really got control either–even less control than him–shooting into his mind. Would he really be willing to give it up completely for Jake? Of course, after however many years they trusted one another with mind and soul but _body_ was a new one in this context.

Danny grimaced a little, lips pursing just enough to make his cheekbones taut. Apparently “how?” was the wrong response, so Jake wrapped one leg around the backs of his thighs and pushed them closer together as he licked the length of one collarbone. “I want you too,” he said, moving to the other with his tongue. “Obviously.”

The relaxed sighs said he was into it so Jake kept going, licking and kissing along covered bone and the bruised, tender skin of his own influence until Danny suddenly grabbed both of Jake’s thighs and hitched them around himself, pulled him forward and bent over so Jake was completely underneath him. His heart began to race again–he couldn’t imagine a position more submissive than that. Even on his knees he could get more control, but with Danny draped heavily over him and keeping him pinned, he was at a loss. 

He didn’t hate it, but it wouldn’t work. As Danny leaned in for a kiss, Jake wiggled upwards as best he could, Danny’s mouth landing on his jaw instead of his lips, then shoved him back; Danny was quick again though and slid backwards out of Jake’s reach, grabbing his arms to pull him to the edge of the bed as he got on the floor in front of him. 

It was too real but too surreal at the same time, seeing the dark force of nature on his knees and diving between Jake’s thighs. His lips circled the head of his cock and Jake’s breath hitched; Jake grabbed Danny’s hair to push him down further, instinct leading over politeness. Danny complied more easily than Jake expected, lowering himself and slicking his tongue around the shaft, suctioning and slurping already, one hand moving between his parted thighs to cup his balls. 

Jake had never imagined Danny going down on him, at least not so vividly. Maybe there had been fleeting flashes of that image but it was nothing like the real thing–Danny’s flushed cheeks and long lashes fanned out and down, him reaching his free hand up to tuck a strand of stray hair behind one ear as he sucked until Jake’s legs were trembling and he was yanking on his hair. Danny was making him not just moan but squeak–uncontrolled sounds being torn out of his chest one after the other, his body so hot he felt like he would be left with a perpetual fever if he couldn’t have this again and again. 

His hips started bucking; Danny started grunting quietly around him. Jake was shocked he hadn’t come up for air yet–how had he known the strategy of sucking dick so well already? Was it really just about not thinking? Was Danny having some unorthodox sort of meditation session with Jake’s dick in his mouth?

Finally he came up for an audible breath then said, “You’re thinking too much again.”

Jake whimpered as his thighs twitched, Danny’s hold on his balls made tighter. “I know. Make me stop.”

Danny chuckled, one big hand stroking his wet cock. “What do you think I’m trying to do?” 

“No, I–” Jake stammered, not sure of what he even wanted to say. He gently yanked on Danny’s hair again and reached down to grab his upper arm, using what was left of his strength to haul him back up. It was hard to stay still with him, with the knowledge of impending sex that would supersede their last time together. They crashed together, a mess of limbs and male appendages, and Danny overtook Jake’s mouth as soon as he could get to it with a clack of teeth and then a collision of tongues. 

Rolling over, Danny pulled Jake on top of him and held him close. “Do with me what you will, Jake,” he said gently, though a little smirk curled at the corners of his mouth before he kissed him again. “If it means you’ll stop thinking.” He slid his hand down to Jake’s crotch, wrapping it around his shaft again, smearing another bead of precum with his thumb. “You can–I want you to.”

He could have finished right there in his hand, but Jake swallowed and reminded himself of who he was, of who he could be for Danny–a mostly-naturally fueled, unyielding, skillful and, at times, even majestic guitar player, a “rock god” as some of his fans called him, even if he wasn’t seasoned enough. He wanted to be all of that and more for Danny–how could he not want to give him everything too? So he would try. 

Jake gave Danny one last kiss to his bruised lips and then worked his way down. His nerves were tingling, his heart was frantic, so he took his time like he had before, giving him the hungry, adoring bites and licks and kisses he deserved, listening to the moans and sighs and letting them drown out his remaining thoughts. At Danny’s abdomen, Jake took a thin stretch of skin between his teeth hard enough to make him hiss and buck; he let it go and licked the same spot, nurturing the wound, and he pulled back to watch his skin grow red. He dragged his tongue up his happy trail, dipping into his navel, which made Danny laugh and grope to hang onto any part of Jake, and then back down, down to his cock that was leaking just as much as Jake’s own.

He licked up the length while he wrapped one hand around Danny’s upper thigh; Jake swore he could feel his heartbeat even there. He brought it down, fingers splayed, until his thumb was nestled on a spot that he figured neither one of them had ventured too far into, literally. He waited for Danny to toss him off or kick him away but he let his untouched leg fall further to the side as his abdomen trembled.

“You would really go–all the way?” Jake asked, sitting up.

Danny lifted his head enough to meet his eyes. “Are we in high school?”

“You know what I mean,” Jake replied but swiftly knocked all hesitation out of the way. Danny was literally giving himself to him–he couldn’t wait any longer, not emotionally and certainly not physically, not with how hard and wet he was. He laid himself over Danny, propped up on one hand while the other still lingered between his legs, fingers sliding further between; the eye contact was unwavering and so intense Jake almost became afraid, not _of_ Danny but of how he would handle him.

“I don’t want to beg,” Danny said, grabbing a handful of Jake’s hair and tilting his head enough to kiss him. “And my stamina may be pretty good but–come on, Jake.”

Jake felt the same. He got up and went to his bags, feeling exposed as Danny’s hawk eyes undoubtedly watched his naked self bend over to grab a condom and lube–the first of each Jake had even used on this leg of the tour–and then return to the bed. He moved in close again, instinct overriding once more, as Danny reached for the condom and tore the packet open then slid it over Jake’s cock. 

His heart could have totally stopped then–it felt so intimate, Danny’s fingers sliding the latex down carefully and gripping his hand around his cock as if to test it all out, caressing his balls with the other, making Jake start to tremble. He was trembling too much to even push him back down, so Danny laid back and pulled him down too, hand on the back of his neck as he took Jake’s wrist in the other and guided that hand between his legs.

“Wait, we need–” Jake started to say, grabbing the lube. He was mystified and a little terrified at how composed Danny was, like taking and losing this sort of virginity was no big deal to him. Jake had expected, in all previous fleeting thoughts, that _he_ would be the bottom, that Danny would bend him over the bed or a table and make it happen–instead, having the other lay out and willingly guide Jake to take him was almost inconceivable even as it was happening. 

When Jake started, however, slowly with one finger and then even more slowly with a second, Danny gripped the back of his neck hard and kissed him so fiercely Jake nearly forgot where he was. He let Danny take that over, gave in to the mess of tongue and teeth that gnawed at his bottom lip, that scraped and nipped before he seemed to gather a bit of control and reel it in. He even paused to kiss Jake’s cheek and jaw, little wet kisses as he worked and worked inside. He didn’t feel ready himself; he wasn’t even sure if Danny was ready, but there would be no better time.

He broke away to look down–Danny was still so hard. Jake was too and the urge to rut the two of them together came over him, wanting to fuck any and every way he could; he managed to slide in a third finger and Danny hissed and pulled at his hair. A few moments later when he was scrambling to hold onto Jake’s side and then reach down for his erection, Jake grabbed the lube again and slotted himself right between his thighs, lifting his right leg and bending it back as he slid in and in little by little.

They both gasped at the first inch, Jake already overcome by heat and the incomparable tightness that was already making him dizzy; he closed his eyes for a moment and slowly opened them to check in with Danny as he slid in further and both of them started to pant. His hold on Jake’s side had tightened, fingers digging into his ribs, and his skin was so flushed and bruised everywhere–Jake’s hips surged forward as he took in the image. It was too much, too hot, and when he moved in Danny grabbed his other side and then slid down to his ass, squeezing hard.

“Careful,” he warned, his hold slowing Jake down. He closed his eyes and smiled, relinquishing a bit of strength around his waist but flexed his thigh and calf in Jake’s arm, thick muscle hot and hard in the crook of it. They were already so sweaty, radiating heat, and Jake bent down to kiss him as delicately as he could manage.

“I will be,” he assured him, though he was finding it difficult to not give into the animal instinct, difficult to not start thrusting and fucking as much as he wanted to. Someday–someday they’d be able to really let go. 

As Jake moved in all the way, they both exhaled. Danny moaned and turned his head to the side; Jake huffed and bit his lip, reeling himself again, before diving back down to take out what he could on Danny’s neck–more wet, hot kisses and devouring bites while he moved his hips just enough to make the mattress start to shimmy beneath them and enough for Danny to start gasping and whimpering, the cords in his neck standing out enough for Jake to lick them lengthwise over and over.

Danny raked his fingertips down his back. “Okay,” he breathed, pulse fluttering beneath Jake’s tongue. “Go.” 

He knew he still couldn’t go full-force but Jake sped up, lifting Danny’s leg a little more into his arm and elevating him; his hips moved back and forth, a dense smacking sound weaving its way through his heavy breaths and Danny’s low moans that were turning into muted growls. The hand on Jake’s back moved down to his ass, squeezing and kneading, and Jake left one more perfect bite on his throat before taking his lips again. 

When Jake moved, Danny moved, hands gripping and stroking all over his body and his hips taking the weight of his thrusts while also bumping back on their own. The eagerness on Danny’s end fed his desire–he could hardly wrap his mind around the reality of it all. They were having sex and _Danny_ was taking it, giving Jake everything he could have ever thought he wanted. 

And more, with how untamed those moans were becoming. Jake sped up even more; Danny reached his left hand between them and grabbed his own cock, knuckles grating against Jake’s abdomen as he stroked. A warm droplet clung to his skin; also untamed, he freed Danny’s right thigh to reach between them too and graze his fingertip over the precum, bringing it to his mouth. Danny’s eyes widened and his lips parted, and the sound of Jake’s name that came from them even sweeter than the taste, and hearing his name like _that_ hurled Jake to the tipping point.

No words spoken, Danny let Jake take over again, a smaller, slighter and more calloused hand wrapping around his cock. He reached up into his hair and yanked him down, crashing their mouths together before Jake could even yelp. 

“Almost,” Danny said between kisses that were so haphazard they were hardly even making contact with each other’s mouths. “Make me.”

Jake gripped Danny’s left leg and bent him back a little more, even the slight flexibility astounding him and stirring up more thoughts of the future. There was no way he could only have this once–from the gush of warm fluid between his fingers that dribbled down his knuckles and onto Danny’s belly and the low growl and string of curses that left his lips, Jake figured once wouldn’t be enough for him, either. A minute later Jake came too, the world behind his eyes blacking out before bursting into silver-white and feathering away slowly, his eyes opening cautiously against the hotel lights they’d left on to see the sweaty, glistening and panting demigod underneath him.

He was suddenly exhausted, completely spent and drained, and didn’t even try to not collapse on top of Danny. He flopped down on top of him and long, strong arms wrapped around him and held him tight, their hearts racing in two separate chests pressed together. Jake closed his eyes and just breathed, listening to Danny’s breaths slow and relishing in the gentle strokes along his backside, fingers trailing up one shoulder to stroke his hair. 

There weren’t many verbal exchanges as they finally separated themselves and got up, moving into the bathroom as if they were still one being. Danny said he wanted a cold shower; Jake refused, wanting hot water to lull him into sleep. That 20 seconds of bickering brought a tired smile to Jake’s face, some obscure reassurance that they would always be friends and brothers, that this was something else and they both knew the significance or lack thereof, whichever they wanted. 

Despite some quiet whines of protest, Jake managed to wash Danny slowly and deliberately. After sex it felt like a special kind of intimacy and he was able to caress and feel and marvel at all the muscles he had to offer, which felt neverending, and so many that he hadn’t been able to touch while fucking. Everything about him was so sculpted and Jake knew it wasn’t all just God’s own making, but Danny never had the air about him that made it seem like he knew he was too hot for his own good. He would probably let someone else win at arm wrestling just to be nice.

And, of course, there were all the markings Jake had left that he got to look over. He was shocked Danny hadn’t told him to stop, considering he was covered in red and pink bites and plum-colored bruises from his neck to his abdomen, just absolutely ruined. Jake hoped none of them would leave any permanency, especially not the massive hickey on his throat that really did look like a dark, blooming rose. He lifted his hand and ran his fingertips gently over it; Danny winced. 

“Sorry,” Jake said quietly, letting his hand drop. “Does it hurt?”

Danny lifted his own hand and pressed his palm to the wound, wincing again. “Kinda. Told you I wanted a cold shower.” 

“So make it colder.” Jake stared at the screaming hickey again, then at Danny’s broken bottom lip. “I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s okay,” Danny said but he did turn the tap, the water running cool and fast over both of them. He grabbed the tiny bottle of body wash from Jake and squirted some into his palm before setting it down, sudsy hands wrapping around Jake’s waist. “I liked it. No one’s ever done that.”

“What?” Jake chirped, heart skipping a beat as Danny’s hands smoothed around to his lower back. “Given you a hickey?”

“Not a hickey like that. But, you know–like, all of that.” Danny’s lashes were glistening and pointed down, hands moving in circles over Jake’s back. “I don’t think I’d ever let anyone else.” His eyes took a daring flick up to meet Jake’s. “What about you?”

Another man’s hands on him was out of the question. Hell, another _person’s_ hands all together, man or woman, was out of the question at the moment. “I don’t think I could,” he answered, reaching back up to ghost hsi fingertips over more bite marks and bruises along Danny’s chest. “I don’t want to. Not with anyone else.” 

Danny smiled a little more at that, dropping his eyes again. 

-

“I should have stopped off in my room to grab clean clothes,” Danny remarked post-shower, towel wrapped around his waist, as he sheepishly looked at the partially stripped-down bed. He turned to look at Jake, raising one eyebrow. “You gave me a fair warning, too. Not leaving ‘til morning.”

Jake went to scrounge around in his bag again. “I can offer you clean boxers–that’s about it.” He straightened and held a thin grey t-shirt out to Danny with a grin. “Wanna wear one of my shirts too?”

Danny scoffed but took it anyway, holding it out in front of himself. “This might fit over one shoulder. Maybe.”

Jake snickered. He grabbed two pairs of boxers and handed one to him, taking the shirt back. “Those are the most elastic ones I’ve got, Danny. If they don’t work, I have no issues with you sleeping naked.” He didn’t fail to notice the blush that spread over Danny’s cheeks–and after all they’d already done, no less.

Danny dropped the towel and shimmied the boxers over his thighs and onto his hips. It was a tight fit, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination even though Jake no longer needed to imagine, and they both laughed a little. Danny crawled into bed first as Jake turned off all the lights, the room nearly pitch black, and felt his way to the mattress and under the sheets. 

Instantly he was enraptured by a damp arm. He wiggled back against Danny and closed his eyes–the strong, warm body around him felt good, felt right somehow. Girls never spooned him. He’d never realized how much he might like it. 

Of course, things could only be so sweet for so long. “How’s your ass feel?” Jake quipped, voice already groggy.

Danny chuckled and squeezed his arm around him. “Um–not too bad. Better than I thought.” He exhaled slowly and drummed his fingertips over Jake’s chest. “I know you didn’t give me your all but–sometime.”

Jake’s heart jumped under Danny’s fingertips. “So you want there to be a next time?” 

Danny chuckled. “Yeah. I’m not known as a ‘one and done’ type of guy, Jake.”

“I know.” Despite his rabbit heart returning, Jake could feel himself starting to drift off into sleep. He couldn’t remember if either of them had even set an alarm and, while the thought of Josh or Sam pounding on the door in the morning to wake them up didn’t seem great, he couldn’t bring himself to even move a few inches out of Danny’s arms to grab his phone. 

Just as Jake was on the cusp of sleep, dream images already starting to color his mind, Danny gently squeezed him and said, “I like holding you. Sometimes–” there was a brief pause, like he was also slipping into dreamland, or maybe just choosing his words carefully. “It seems like you need it.” 

Jake slipped into sleep before he could reply, silently agreeing, glad Danny was there to do that for him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never actually written ~rimming~ (I honestly hate that word, but I guess that's what I have to use) into any previous slash fics. Another milestone...hope y'all enjoy.

When Jake woke up, a large hard-on was pressing against his ass. He groaned quietly and buried his face against the pillow, too warm and too surprisingly comfortable to move. He and Danny had clung to each other all night, Jake either being spooned or rolling over to snuggle against the other’s chest and, while he was sweatier than he would have liked, the dense heat surrounding him was still near perfect. 

Danny could sleep forever given the chance, Jake knew that. Meanwhile he was an early riser–he stretched across the bed to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. It was only 7:30, which meant they had a few hours before they would need to shower–together again, he hoped–hightail it out of the room, have Danny grab his own bags and scuttle down to the lobby to meet Josh and Sam.

Jake didn’t even want to see those two, only because he wanted Danny to himself. He would stay in the hotel room for another day or two if it meant them being alone together in their own new paradise, unbothered by the others, management, roadies, all the outside pressures and nuisances. He just wanted to play, both onstage and behind closed doors, until he passed out from exhaustion and got to be cradled in Danny’s arms again and again. 

He closed his eyes again and wiggled back a bit–the skin-tight boxers Danny had borrowed and Jake’s own thin cotton boxers didn’t make it difficult to feel the morning wood firm and hot against his ass. He reached his right hand back and felt for the waistband, his fingers brushing over the hair on Danny’s belly first, and then slid his hand underneath the elastic. Was it possible he was even harder than he’d been last night? Now that Jake was presented with it, he thought about how it wasn’t even shocking that he had raging, impossibly hard morning wood–somehow, it just made sense with the rest of him. It felt good even in his hand and he stroked a little, waiting for him to stir or wake up entirely, but he actually shifted closer; Jake stroked as best and as gently as he could from his arm twisted behind his back, his own dick getting hard beneath the sheets.

As Jake wiped away a droplet of what he thought was _pre_ -precum from the head of Danny’s cock, the beast stirred and wrapped his arm around his front, pulling him against his chest and inadvertently rubbing one of his nipples, making Jake gasp.

“Jake?” Danny grumbled, voice thick with sleep. 

Jake left his hand idle around his cock, the elastic starting to dig into his wrist. “‘Morning.” He tentatively stroked the skin with one fingertip. “Or should I say ‘morning wood.’”

Danny exhaled against the back of his neck. “Easy to get with your ass pressed against my dick all night.” He ground a little into Jake’s backside. “I had a dream that we bombed onstage. It was like–every time Josh tried to sing, his voice cracked completely. I messed up my solo. Sam wasn’t even there for some reason.” 

Jake snorted and wrapped his hand firm around Danny’s erection. “Great pillow talk, Danny. We have a show tonight.” He started to stroke again and Danny sighed; Jake felt his nose go into his hair, a slow sort of nuzzle against the back of his head. “Are you worried?”

“No. Never really am.” He slid his hand down Jake’s front and into his boxers, warming his fingers over his groin, toying with his pubic hair. “I think it’s more like, a subconscious manifestation of all of this.”

Jake’s heart did a flip. “All of what? Us?” He almost stopped stroking but when Danny wrapped his hand around his cock, he continued. “Are you afraid of telling Josh and Sam?” 

“I think they might have figured it out already. Some of it, at least,” Danny replied. Suddenly Jake felt the sheets pulled away from both of them and Danny’s hands were on his shoulders, gently pushing him forward into a half-rolled over sort of position. 

He shivered as Danny brushed his hair away from the back of his neck and shoulders and kissed his nape; he shivered again when he felt Danny’s tongue drag down his spine and his hands smooth down his waist to his hips, his right landing on his ass and kneading one cheek. Those same hands pulled down his boxers, slowly down his legs and then pulled them away from his ankles, and then stroked his thighs. 

It was happening so quickly–Jake instinctively lurched forward when his mouth made contact with the soft pillow of flesh, more of a bite than a kiss. “Danny–” he squeaked but felt himself pulled back and his thighs spread a couple inches further apart. 

Danny pulled back; Jake felt the wet imprint of teeth and lips on his skin. “Want me to stop?” 

Jake buried his face into the pillow again. “No,” he said, the word coming out muffled but apparently audible enough for him because he felt Danny’s mouth on him again, quite literally kissing his ass. His hands gripped both cheeks and massaged; it made Jake feel self-conscious in a way he’d never felt before, so exposed and literally spread open. No, no one had ever touched him there, not like that, but Danny was doing it for him. They were doing it for each other, not just to satiate the other but to satiate themselves. In the haze of Danny’s kisses and nips, Jake managed to wonder for a fleeting moment about all they could have done over the years if they’d just talked about it even once. 

It didn’t matter–they were together then, sheets a mess around their slightly damp and overheated bodies, loose strands of Danny’s hair tickling Jake’s bare skin, Jake’s teeth already biting down into the pillow as a warm tongue licked and licked and then slobbered a bit, making him choke and bite down harder. It seemed like something that wasn’t supposed to feel so good but, holy fuck, it felt good, Danny slowly slurping him up and eating him like that. He angled his right leg out a little more and lowered himself down against the mattress enough for his erection to brush against the sheets, bucking his hips just a bit to try and get some friction. 

Jake whined into the pillow when Danny wrapped his hand around his hip to stop him; he was about to lift his head to protest but then the same hand slid across his skin and around his dick, stroking almost in the same rhythm as his licks. Jake humped into his hand instead, the soft palm around him warm and damp–Danny must have licked it at some point–and Danny moaned behind him, tongue diving in deep as his other hand pried at Jake’s ass again.

Finally, Jake just let it go. Even pounding into Danny as much as he could have given the whole virgin situation hadn’t allowed him to have such freedom of mind–it was like a gate Jake didn’t even know existed opened up and all the tangled vines and overgrown branches parted and made way for a rush of warm, silky air. Finally he wasn’t thinking, he was just humping into Danny’s hand while also trying to hump back against his face, whining and squealing like no one else–or himself–had ever made him, and getting ready to shoot all over the sheets.

More whines and pants ensued but then Jake managed to turn his cheek against the pillow and make a coherent verbalization: “Danny–please,” he started to say, the words half-caught in his throat, breathy and low. “More.” 

Danny dragged his tongue up Jake’s crack slowly. “You’re not ready,” he said quietly, a little more sternness than Jake expected in his tone. “Not today,” he added, but Jake heard and also caught a glimpse of him shifting and pulling his own borrowed boxers down and off. He tried to leer over his shoulder more to get a look at his erection, but it was just a quick wash of tan skin and dark hair in his vision before Danny spoke again. “You feel me, Jake?”

Jake wiggled back in response and groaned. “Yes, but I want to feel–feel more of you.” 

“Another time,” Danny insisted, stroking his lower back with his fingers. Jake whined when Danny spread him again and that warm, slick tongue found its way inside, licking and lapping and working him over as the strokes around his cock became denser, faster. He wished they could do more, wished they could go all the way again but he knew Danny was right. Jake wasn’t ready. Not for that beast, no matter how gentle. 

Sparks fluttered and then burst over his skin, a little hot tingle ran up from his spine; Danny’s tongue–the tongue that licked, roamed, lapped and worshiped where no one else ever had, maybe ever would–prodded at his balls for a moment, then warm lips suctioned around them as his hand stroked hi cock, the head dripping onto the sheets. Danny’s name was starting to drop from Jake’s mouth in tandem, each letter sliding out between his lips as saliva sliding out in desperation wet the pillowcase. 

“Danny!” Jake cried out, his body going so tight and tense, a string of white cream bursting from within and onto the white sheets as he backed up into his face; he fell slack even as Danny’s hand continued to gently stroke his cock and his tongue made one more slow, gentle lick that led to the small of his back. 

Danny’s lips formed a kiss on Jake’s spine and then he was being brought to his knees and ground and rocked into from behind; he was rubbing and humping his hard-on against his ass, the whole thing only lasting a few seconds before Jake felt the release all over himself, hot and sticky. Danny held him up as he shuddered around him, deep exhales rolling over Jake’s shoulders, and then rolled him over onto his side away from his own mess.

“I’m sorry,” Danny said after some more deep breaths. He still had an arm slung over Jake’s waist, their bodies pressed–maybe glued–together. “Again.”

“It’s fine,” Jake said quietly. He felt like he could fall asleep again, sticky and disgusting or not. “We needed to shower again anyway.”

Danny groaned. “I should get up before I really can’t.” Jake felt the bed shift and then cool air hit his back as Danny left his side, then he heard a soft chuckle. “You look like such a mess, man.”

Jake rolled over onto his back and narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips as he tried to not laugh while doing his best to leer. “You do too,” he replied, eyes raking over Danny’s messy, sweat-dampened hair, shiny, flushed chest and glistening fist at his side. “You look wrecked.”

“Like _you_ wrecked me,” he replied, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth, his eyes dropping to the floor. 

Jake leaned back with his hands behind his head. He’d relish the few more moments of just looking at Danny in that morning light, in front of yet another city, as best as he could, even with the jizz drying on his back. Jake watched as he moved to the bathroom doorway and, before he could disappear, he said, “You are so damn beautiful.” 

Immediately Danny’s face flushed and he snorted a little, ducking his head down. “Oh.”

“I know I’m not the first one to tell you that.”

“No.” He lifted his chin and met Jake’s eyes. “But it’s different hearing you say it.”

Jake blushed too and started to sit up. “It’s true.” 

Danny smiled and then lifted his hand up to his waist, peering down at it. “I gotta wash this off.” He dropped his hand and looked at Jake again, dark brows and sunlight eyes beckoning. “Are you coming in?”

Jake tore himself away from the bed. “I guess we can save a little water that way.” 

Under the running water, Danny grabbed the body wash before Jake could, squeezing a glob into his hands and nudging Jake with his elbow so he’d turn around. His slick, sudsy hands caressed his shoulders, the wingless blades between them, down the center of his back right to his ass, massaging and washing away their mess as he went. 

Jake exhaled, his breath caught in the walls of tile. “I wish we could just stay here, Danny.”

“Where? The shower?”

“No,” Jake laughed a little. “Well, maybe. But just–here. I want to stay here with you.”

Danny’s chuckle managed to sound past the water. “You’re such a romantic.”

Jake looked over his shoulder as Danny slid his hands up again to caress his waist. “Is there another way to be?” 

“Isn’t it weird? With a guy?”

“Danny, I know you’re not that dim. Guys can be romantic togeth–”

Danny gently squeezed him. “Duh–I know that. But isn’t it weird to be romantic with me?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t tried yet.”

Danny scoffed and lightly patted Jake’s flank. “No? All lust and animal instinct? The way you said my name a few minutes ago made me wonder.”

Jake turned around then and titled his chin up the inch he needed to to look Danny in the eye. “You know I love you.”

Danny didn’t react other than a slight twitch of his lip and the dilation of his pupils, an image Jake figured he would need to hold onto forever. “I know,” he said, voice sounding like it dropped an octave even in its quiet reverberation off the walls. He looked down and laid his hands over Jake’s chest, using the leftover suds to wash him there, too. “I love you back.”

They’d said it before, but this was different. Jake reached behind Danny to turn more cold water on from the fear of passing out at that declaration; Danny smiled and cupped his elbow as he reached, as if studying the movement of Jake’s arm, then let his hand drop as Jake retreated and cool water rushed over both of them. 

“I can’t wait to see you play tonight,” Danny said, a secretive little smile still on his face as he tilted his head back into the water.

Jake snorted, but the statement still made his heart flutter a bit. “You see it all the time.” 

“And I always like what I see.”

“We’re going to be back on the bus tonight,” Jake said, reminding not just Danny but himself, too. “I’m going to miss sharing a bed with you.”

Danny beamed then, eyes going bright and wide. “We could still make it happen.”

“How?”

He shrugged. “Who cares what Josh and Sam think? Do you think they’ll make a scene about us crashing together?”

Jake considered it. “Management–”

Danny shook his head. “No. I like sleeping with you. I like sleeping with, like, anyone,” he said with a laugh. “But I really like sleeping with you. The fact that you want to now–I can’t not have that.”

That was more affection and borderline possessiveness than Jake was expecting, but it made him want Danny even more, if that was even possible. His determination was so hot Jake found himself starting to get hard again–if he touched him again, it would be all over. All over the shower curtain and the tile in oozing streaks. 

“So you don’t want this to be a secret?” Jake questioned. 

Danny furrowed his brow. “Do you?” 

“No. None of it.”

There was that smile again, then Danny squinted and reached up to finger a strand of Jake’s hair. “Turn around again,” he ordered, already doing it for him with his hands on Jake’s shoulders. “I got jizz in your hair. My bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I want to be Danny or Jake more at this point. But Jake is really tugging on my heartstrings.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of talk...lots of tenderness...:)

Although neither wanted any of whatever was going on–Jake still wasn’t sure about what that was: were he and Danny a couple? Was it just perpetually going to be called “something?–to be a secret, neither Jake nor Danny felt like having their hickies be the first thing they got called out on, and certainly not before a show. Jake’s were manageable merely with his shirt buttoned up a bit more and his hair down; Danny’s, on the other hand, were still somewhat raw and screaming red and purple from his neck and chest, bright and hot wounds that made a rush of blood flow to Jake’s cheeks and groin whenever he caught a glimpse.

Danny couldn’t play the drums with all his hair down, he had reiterated that to Jake multiple times. He could do the half-up thing but he would still “need” to be shirtless, which presented another problem entirely. While Josh and Sam had carried on ahead after getting dressed and styled, moving to the actual venue where the crowd was lined up on the other side beyond the shut doors, Danny and Jake remained in the bus. 

“We all have makeup,” Jake declared, rifling through a suitcase of Josh’s stuff, all skin-tight jumpsuits, gold and silver jewelry that was mostly loose among the fabric. He turned to him with more of a glare than he’d intended–pre-show nerves contributed to him being so prickly and unusually harsh with Danny. The nerves were a sensation he thought he’d forgotten, but he was filled with anxious energy that he could feel swelling and churning in his guts. “Where’s yours?”

Danny grumbled something under his breath and started to go through his own bags. All four of them had made a mess, as they always did. It was easier getting ready on the bus sometimes. They didn’t have to listen to the crowd or to security, to the guys working backstage, or even to their own management if they really tried; plus, Jake realized as the thought clouded over his mind momentarily, if they merely shut the curtains, they could shut out everyone for as long as they wanted.

After the show, anyway. They had to get through the show, but he just wanted Danny again in whatever way he could get. Jake had anticipated his proclamation of them sleeping together on the bus to be even less than half-baked come the time, but he was willing to be pleasantly surprised. He was waiting and eager, half-sun yet silent prayers turned to aching plumes of soft smoke in his heart for it to really happen, the fantasies of rolling over against that strong, warm body already a haze behind his eyes. 

“Sam doesn’t have makeup,” Danny declared and Jake wasn’t sure if he was about to start an argument, but then held up a little tube of concealer in his hand. “Found it. I used it like, once. You really think I need it?”

Jake ushered him into the bathroom, smaller hands braced on broader shoulders. “Not normally. But look at you,” he said, gesturing to Danny’s reflection in the mirror. “You’re destroyed.”

Danny caught his eye. “Whose fault is that?” 

“Mine, but I–” Jake began and found himself getting even closer, wrapping one arm around his waist. “I couldn’t help myself.” 

Danny snorted and chuckled. “Right.”

Jake started to turn him around. “Alright, c’mere. I’ll help.” He took the concealer from Danny’s hands and opened it, dabbing a tiny glob onto the tips of his ring finger. He leaned in and up to inspect the worst offending hickey on his neck, peering at it, making sure it wasn’t even the slightest bit of an open wound. “Your sister never taught you how to do this?”

“I don’t wear makeup now,” Danny protested, lifting his chin and stretching his neck. “Why would I have worn it before?”

“I don’t know, Danny.”

His chin dropped and there was a pout on Danny’s lips. “You gonna kiss it and make it better?” 

They hadn’t kissed at all since that morning and Jake already missed it. He missed it so badly even in the span of those few hours–that still managed to feel like a lifetime past–that the want, the _need_ had become physically painful, like that smoke had drifted down into his stomach and had started to mingle with the acid, a tightness in his chest being the literal result. Danny was, apparently, addictive in a way Jake had never felt and he hoped he would never feel again.

They were alone on the bus, so why not? But Jake feared that if he kissed Danny anywhere for any duration of time, he would be choked with smoke and fire, more unfettered desire, and go onstage discombobulated and aching. 

“You okay?” Danny asked, his brow tightening just enough to give a display of his classic, almost parental-like worry. 

Jake lifted his eyes to look into Danny’s, then back down at the hickey. “I’m nervous,” he said quietly and stood on his tip-toes, reaching one hand to the back of his neck. He inched up and tugged Danny down to kiss the hickey, just a single, petal-soft wash of his lips over the hot skin. When he pulled back, the entirety of Danny’s neck was flushed and warm, like that single kiss had put him under a spell.

His eyes gave it away, too–Danny’s irises were blazing liquid gold and his pupils were blown out. Just from that? Jake felt amazed by himself for a second but it was superseded by the impending performance and the mess of nerves still insidiously working their way through his entire body. He wished, for the first time ever, that they could just fast-forward through it. He wanted to be held again, exhausted and worn out, even in the confines of one of the bunks with the curtain drawn to hide them. 

“You’re never nervous,” Danny replied. He leaned back against the sink as Jake got to work concealing the hickey, slight and repeated dabs of his fingers drumming over his skin. “Even when we were kids, you were never nervous.”

“I’m nervous tonight.” Jake withdrew to inspect his work–it wasn’t great, but the concealer didn’t exactly match Danny’s skin tone anyway. From the crowd, no one would probably notice but Josh and Sam still might. Fuck. No, he didn’t want any of it to be a secret–that sounded dirty, like they were ashamed–but he did not need this to be the night. He wasn’t ready. 

“Is it because that dream I had?”

Jake chuckled. “No. I–I don’t know.” He lowered his arm and huffed loudly. “Goddammit. What if I actually fuck up now? I’m thinking too much. What if–” Danny’s mouth shut him up. His mouth even made Jake’s thoughts stop momentarily–he wrapped his arms around that big, strong body and parted his lips, already moaning into the kiss even as it just began.

It wasn’t even a surprise that Danny had more willpower, or maybe just more sense of responsibility, and pulled back. “You’ll fucking kill it, Jake. Like always. You own that stage,” he said, straightening his spine and squaring his shoulders. “Did that help?”

“The kiss or that two-second pep talk?” Jake asked. Danny’s taste–like spearmint and vanilla lip balm–was left on his tongue. Another distraction. Hopefully in a good way.

“Either.”

Jake exhaled. Yes, that brief but heated kiss had taken some of the air and anxiety out of his lungs–but the fear of fucking up still rippled through him. What if it would be like that forever? Had he cursed himself somehow? 

Danny tilted his head. “You keep disappearing. Are you having a panic attack?”

Jake laughed, nervous. “No. I don’t think so. But I do feel kind of–panicked.”

“You’re Jake fucking _Kiszka_ ,” Danny declared, another pep talk on the rise. He put his hands on Jake’s shoulders and kept their eyes locked together. “Guitar god. Rock god. You make every girl’s panties drop to the floor just by existing, let alone by thrusting into your guitar during ‘Black Flag Explosion.’” He smiled, as if proud of his own statements. “And playing it behind your head.”

It may have been a somewhat superficial and inflated sort of pep talk but it still made Jake blush. Hearing all of that from Danny–that was something special. Their admiration had always been mutual, they’d always been in awe of one another. Jake had created the band with his balls to the wall, no reservations, and had practiced the guitar until his fingers were bleeding to get where he was at; Danny was able to nearly master almost anything he touched with seemingly minimal effort–Jake knew otherwise–and had become the beating heart of their group, their anchor, their divine drummer and ordained brother.

“I need you up there with me,” Jake said, taking it upon himself to lay one palm over Danny’s chest. 

Danny held his own palm against the small of Jake’s back. “I’m always up there with you. Tonight isn’t any different.”

“It feels different.”

“But in a good way?”

Jake’s eyes went to the semi-concealed hickey on Danny’s neck again. “Yeah. This is different in a good way.” 

Danny put his arm around Jake’s shoulders and started to steer him out of the bathroom. “Come on, rockstar,” he said, and Jake could taste that cool vanilla on his lips again even without another kiss. “Let’s get you a shot. Maybe two.” 

-

The show went as well as any of their shows ever went–nothing that didn’t catch Jake off guard, no riff that got away from him, no groove that moved past him instead of through him. They were all with it that night, feeding off the crowd’s energy and feeding off each other’s energy, all of them total light, color, sound and chaos in the most beautiful ways there could be. Jake had almost forgotten just how eternal he felt when he was wielding his guitar like that. 

Josh and Sam didn’t seem to notice the hickey–or hickies, really–either, which helped him feel at ease. He knocked himself about it a bit once they started–with the consumption of the crowd and their own duties, why would either one of them have noticed anyway? He was beginning to think his paranoia was unfounded and totally unneeded, but even those thoughts burst and left the earth as soon as he strummed his first note.

And _Danny_ fucking killed it, as he expected. As they all expected. One of Jake’s favorite parts of any of their shows was always the two of them jamming together. They had something special–Josh knew it and Sam knew it. Jake thought you had to be totally blind to not see the electricity between them onstage and off–maybe it really was no wonder at all that they ended up together, first in a closet humping each other and then in a bed holding each other close.

Disheveled, knees aching and dripping in sweat, Jake wanted that. After the encore he hiked himself off the stage completely and into the lounge where Josh and Sam had been before the show, flopping onto the couch. The sweat would drip all over the leather–whatever. He was exhausted. He felt that 24 years old was too young to be so sore after a night like that but Josh was always quick to remind him that they had been doing that nearly every night for nearly three years–if someone’s back wasn’t going to break, their knees might. Hopefully not. 

Busted knees or not, Jake still felt like if Danny asked him to ride him, he’d give it his all. He had meant it in the hotel room that same morning when he’d said he wanted to feel more, to feel _all_ of him. 

Josh was first to arrive–he sat down in the big leather chair across from the couch with a sigh, tipping his head back, chest still heaving beneath the skin-tight black bodysuit. His question caught Jake by surprise and made him feel shaken, given how poignant it was in that moment: “You think we’ll ever get tired of this?”

Jake turned his head on the couch to look at his twin straight-on. “No. I won’t. No matter how tired I get, I’ll never be tired of this.”

Josh chuckled a little, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his shoulders shaking a bit. “Yeah. 

You? Never.” 

“Tonight was great.” Jake rolled over onto his side and reached for a bottle of water from the coffee table between them. “Better than I expected, actually–”

Josh was quick with the question and with the way he snapped down to look at Jake. “Why?”

His body tensed up for a second. Jake brought the bottle of water to his lips as he sat up and backed himself into the couch–it felt better to have his knees at as close to a 90 degree angle as he could get, he’d found. Another indicator of getting older–actually being aware of what your body needed. Plus he didn’t want Josh to think he was getting at him with anything.

“Danny told me he had a dream about us fucking up,” Jake said, going for more water while keeping an eye on Josh. Did he say too much just by saying that? 

Josh raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. He said whenever you tried to sing, your voice cracked.”

Josh shrugged and looked off to the side. “Been there. Right? Well–” he paused and leaned back in the chair again. “Not quite, thank god. And I don’t plan on ever coming that close ever again.”

“You don’t have to worry,” Jake said and he partially meant it. “We know better now, right?”

“Yeah,” Josh said wistfully. He sat up again and positioned his forearms on the armrests, leaning forward as he asked, “So what’s going on with you two?”

Jake’s lips subconsciously twisted a bit and his body tensed again before he saw the softness in Josh’s eyes despite the accusatory question. He opened his mouth, not quite ready to let Josh in all the way like that, but ready to say something, when Josh beat him to it.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” he told Jake, reaching for a bottle of water of his own. 

So Josh knew. That twin telepathy could never be dismantled, Jake figured. Or were they really being that obvious? He reclined on the couch and chugged the rest of the water. He would tell Josh–eventually. Not that night, though, with his mind too full of images of Danny’s naked body and the feeling of those arms wrapped around him. 

-

He waited in the dark confines of his own private bunk, waited for Danny to gently rap on the wall outside and then slowly pull the curtain back, and Jake couldn’t help it–as he fantasized about only that, he found himself sliding his hand down his pajama pants to grab his dick and start jerking it to life. He wished it was Danny’s hand–how the fuck did he play drums like that? And how did his hands feel so good all over Jake’s body?

He thought it may have been a dream as he slowly and carelessly jerked himself into sleep rather than off, but Jake did distinctly hear and _sense_ someone outside the curtain. He took his hand out of his pants and rolled onto his side, trying to peek through the slight crack, but was only met with more darkness, then he heard a very quiet, “Jake?”

Jake nearly whipped the curtain aside in excitement, but he gathered what sensibilities he could with his dick half-hard and pulled back the curtain just enough to see the silhouette of Danny beside his bed. He reached one hand out in the dark and felt for Danny’s; he got it and Danny laced their fingers together. Jake couldn’t see for sure, but he would have bet that he was smiling. 

“You’re here,” Jake said. 

Danny squeezed his hand a little. “Told you I would be.”

Jake’s heart swelled, not with nerves but with pure, deep and longing love that had started to blossom years prior, consciously or otherwise. He scooted back toward the wall of the bus; Danny moved the curtain aside and crawled into bed next to him. It was a tight fit for both of them, almost claustrophobic, but Jake sidled right up to him anyway and closed his eyes again as the arms he’d been dreaming about circled around him.

He opened them when he felt Danny start to laugh, or rather try and stifle a laugh. “What?”

“Just–this. You.” Danny nestled his chin on top of Jake’s head and sighed. “You’re–special.”

Jake almost guffawed. “Why?” He could have guessed, but he wanted to hear Danny explain it anyway.

“Letting me hold you like this,” Danny said. “You don’t mind?”

“No. I love it.”

“Me too.”

It was Jake’s turn to stifle a laugh–he nuzzled his face against Danny’s chest as his shoulders shook, with the threat of a total eruption only able to be subdued by that warmth. “Do you want to hear something?” he asked, the words muffled and low.

Danny rubbed his back. “What?”

Jake snickered again. “I was jerking off before you got here–literally thinking about this. Just you, coming to my bunk.”

Danny laughed quietly and squeezed his arms around Jake. “That turned you on?”

“Apparently.” 

“Can I feel?” Danny asked, his hand already traveling down Jake’s body and awkwardly slipping between them. 

“Oh!” Jake chirped as Danny’s hand found him over his pajama pants. That touch alone made his dick twitch in Danny’s hand and start to stiffen more, and then another hand was cupping his ass.

“It’s not like I never noticed before but,” Danny started to say as he squeezed Jake’s cheek. “I was watching you more tonight. Your backside, mostly, of course. This is really nice.”

Jake smirked in the dark, the cheeks of his face blazing. “Yeah?”

“You know it’s true. You’re baiting me for compliments now.”

“No. Well–maybe. It’s just that, I never realized how much I’d like those compliments coming out of your mouth,” Jake told him, wiggling a bit against Danny’s front. The hand down his pants emerged to rest over the middle of his back, that touch perhaps even just as intense as the other. “Like–I don’t know, man. The way you make me feel–I can’t explain it. I want to. I want to get the words right.”

“I can’t explain it either,” Danny said and that statement alone made Jake feel more at ease in his own head. “I never thought I’d be with–you know, a guy.” He exhaled, then rolled Jake over onto his back and hovered above him, still totally sheathed in darkness. “But with you, it just makes sense.”

Jake didn’t even get the chance to answer because Danny lowered himself and kissed his mouth. Immediately, Jake arched up into him and kissed back harder, one hand going to the back of Danny’s neck to press their lips together, to make their tongues meet. Slowly, Danny laid down on top of him, spreading out nearly the entirety of his full weight over Jake, and cradled the top of his head with his hand; Jake moaned and arched up again, not to try and get him off but to get even closer, if that were possible. The feeling of being overtaken like that–slowly, gently, fully-clothed with no real expectation–made the blood in his body burn.

“It does make sense,” Jake said when he got the chance. He reached his hands up to hold the sides of Danny’s face. “It’s so dark. I wish I could see you better.”

Danny chuckled. “In the morning. Except I don’t look good right after I wake up so–maybe you’ll need to avert your eyes.”

Why this instinct came over him, Jake wasn’t sure, but he lightly tapped Danny’s cheek in response–not quite a slap, but more than just a painless, innocent pat on the cheek. He did catch the change in expression even in the dark–Danny’s face went from shock to more stifled laughter within two seconds, and he rolled over onto his side. “What was that for?”

It wasn’t the reason why, but Jake said anyway, “You know I saw your this morning right? Did I ‘avert my eyes’ then?”

“I’m joking, Jake,” Danny replied, his tone as though he was attempting to be scolding but he was still laughing almost silently. “Jeez.”

Jake rolled over and backed himself up against Danny, purposefully wiggling his ass against his dick. “What are we gonna do if you wake up with that massive morning wood tomorrow?”

Danny groaned. “Do what I always do–jerk off in the shower.”

“It’d be more fun if I could join,” Jake said. Wanting to jerk another guy off was not ever a thought in his brain before–now, he craved it. He hadn’t thought much about women since he and Danny had shot all over each other in that closet, nor had he thought about other guys. Only Danny. The singular want was a new one, a hyper-focus Jake figured he would need time to get used to. He hoped he’d have the time. 

“That would be more fun,” Danny agreed quietly. He wrapped an arm around him and then held his hand again, clasping them together over Jake’s chest. “We get to stay in a hotel tomorrow night. We might as well tell them not to get us separate rooms.”

Jake held his hand tighter and closed his eyes. “I’m not ready for _that_ conversation.” They both left it at that and he listened and felt for Danny’s gradually slowed breathing before saying, “I think Josh knows.”

“Oh?” 

“I think he knows, and I don’t think he minds.”

“Why would he?” Danny asked and shifted a little, holding Jake closer. “Josh is the most open-minded of all of us.”

Jake silently agreed. It was true, and he knew it was true that there was really nothing in the universe that could break their bond. _That_ was truly unconditional. “What about Sam?”

“I think he knows–” Danny started to say, then exhaled sleepily. “Something. He didn’t ask me anything weird after the show. I think–if he knows anything–he’s going to wait for me to come to him.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah. If this–y’know, continues.”

“It’s strange, being on the bus, touring, all that,” Jake mused. He was starting to drift off as well, tucked comfortably in Danny’s arms and cloaked in the cool blackness. “We’d be handling this differently if we were just like, back home.”

“You think?”

“Yeah.” Jake’s clasp on Danny’s hand loosened as he got closer to sleep, but Danny held on. “We wouldn’t have to worry as much. I still wish that we could, like, just stay somewhere for a while.”

“Soon. Ish. The tour won’t be forever.”

Jake snickered and groaned in one breath. “Won’t it, though?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet, a little dirty…some considerable introspection from Jake. What else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @helena_s_renn, after I wrote this, I remembered you also wrote Jake masturbating in the shower while thinking about Danny in Nympho Rising, so that lovely chapter clearly stuck itself to my brain after the fact. Credit where credit is due ~

The glamour of waking up in a new city had completely worn off Jake after the second full year of touring. Now, it felt as discombobulating as it had been in when they’d first started but without all the magic–there was nothing magical about waking up in a bed atop a set of wheels, scratchy sheets that he didn’t choose, a bathroom that was even smaller than the one at home and a whole crew and team waiting on the other side of the curtain. 

There was some magic in waking up next to Danny, though. They’d separated throughout the night, although Danny still kept one arm out and his hand was on the pillow underneath Jake’s head. When he turned, his eyes shot straight down long, tan fingers and slightly curved knuckles to the strong, bare and smooth arm, and then to the mess of almost-black waves. His back was rising and falling gently, slowly, and Jake watched for a few moments with half-blurred vision. 

He didn’t want to get up. He inched closer, sort of listening to the outside noises–he could hear Sam yapping away with someone from beyond–but more focused on his sleeping best friend. He laid his hand down next to the one that was stretched out and used his other to gently spread Danny’s fingers straight out, lining their hands next to each other and comparing–Danny’s fingers were longer, of course, and his hands were larger, but the slight delicateness of the drummer’s hands wasn’t totally lost on Jake. There was a certain dainty beauty to his hands, with all the supple skin taut over his knuckles and the soft bend to each of those bones; flipping Danny’s hand over, the skin on the inside of his wrist was even more supple, maybe even smoother than silk, and lined with turquoise veins that fluttered underneath Jake’s touch.

What was he dreaming about? Another stress dream about their next show? Jake’s nerves about that had dissipated while a new string of nerves had been plucked upon waking–what they would be doing after the tour was over. He and Josh had talked about moving to Nashville together; Sam wanted to move to LA, so Jake had mentioned Austin as a compromise, a way to keep things closer, even if by just that much. Danny hadn’t given a definitive response, but Jake knew he would stick with Sam. Even if Danny were Jake’s best friend, Sam would always be Danny’s real sidekick. Jake couldn’t fault him–he had Josh.

He rolled back over and sighed against the pillow. He wished his brain would just stop for a second–Josh’s brain went a mile a minute but he had managed to control it. He’d learned, somehow, to will his anxieties away or, more impressively, to work with them, work them into something else. Jake consistently felt caught up in his anxiety and he knew that internalizing it most of the time didn’t help, but he couldn’t get the words right. Certainly not with this–was he supposed to beg Danny to stay with him? 

Jake’s name was being spoken from outside the curtain yet again, this time by his twin. Jake sat up and leaned over Danny, who was still dead-asleep and unmoving, and pulled the curtain back just enough to see a small slant of Josh’s face. “What?” Why hide it at this point? Josh knew, Jake was sure of it.

Josh glanced down and smirked. “I knew it.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. What is it?”

“Sam and I are going to get breakfast. They want to deep clean the bus or something, so you should come too.”

Danny suddenly stirred and rolled over halfway to face Josh. Jake couldn’t see his face but he did hear the quiet, “Oh,” that he sounded.

Josh held his hands up, still smirking. “I’m just telling you both–breakfast.” His hands dropped as did his eyes again, the smirk directed solely at Danny. “Sleep well?”

“Oh god, Josh,” Danny groaned, rolling onto his back. “Even when you try to be quiet, your voice is still so loud.”

Josh patted the top of his head. “I’m sure, Daniel.” He started to back away, a cheeky little smile on his face. “Get up and let’s eat. You can even get a Bloody Mary!”

Danny groaned again, more quietly, with his eyes still closed and asked, “Did he even notice that we didn’t drink last night?”

“Well. Not much, anyway.” Jake sat up and started to rub the sleep away from his eyes. “I’d rather smoke right now.”

Danny chuckled. “Yeah. That’d be good.”

Jake stretched, trying to seem as casual as he could even though Danny still had his eyes closed. “You don’t care that he knows? That he saw?”

“Saw what? That we crashed together?” Danny chuckled again and then opened his eyes as he started to sit up. “No. He knows now for sure–I don’t care.” He paused and blinked slowly, then turned to Jake: “I’m kind of surprised at how little I care, actually.”

“I’m surprised by that too,” Jake admitted. He started to crawl over Danny’s legs to get out and was met with a squeeze on one cheek, which made him gasp and then laugh. 

“I can’t help it,” Danny said once Jake was standing. He put his hands behind his head and eyed Jake up and down. “Damn.”

Jake did the same as best he could with Danny still half-covered in the sheets. “Don’t make me get riled up. Unless you plan on fucking me in the restroom of whatever restaurant we’re going to.”

Danny’s cheeks grew rosy and he turned his head to the side a bit, chin dipping down. “I don’t think that can happen.” He turned back, a dark fierceness in his eyes despite having just woken up. “Like I said before–you’re not ready.”

It was also too early for Jake to throw a fit, but he almost literally stomped his foot at Danny’s statement. “That’s what you think,” was what he managed to say, swallowing an argument. It was too early in the morning and too early in their _relationship_ or whatever it was to be fighting like that. Right?

Apparently Danny was ready to keep going. “What?” he asked, throwing the sheets back and stretching out on the bed, hip bones protruding past the waistband of his pajama bottoms, a strip of bare midriff showing as his shirt lifted up. “You really think you can take it?”

Even getting “it” in his mouth was a struggle but Jake still wanted it, and still wanted to drop to his knees right then and there and blow him. But that risk was too high–god only knew what their team would do in that case. What if there was some underlying streak of homophobia somewhere? If anything, he knew that intimacy between any of them and Danny would be severely frowned upon–not good for business at the very least. 

Jake turned around before he started to get hard. “I’m taking a shower first. Don’t want to deal with your dried jizz on the tile.” 

“Thanks in advance for yours,” Danny said behind him. 

-

The same worries, perhaps even more exaggerated, ran through Jake’s mind as the warm water coursed over his body. He hadn’t woken up with full morning wood but watching Danny stretch out like that and their brief, sexually-antagonistic exchange had made him almost completely hard. So why not go all the way? He let his head fall back, his hair getting drenched, and started to circle and twist himself. 

The water wasn’t great lube. He grabbed the tiny bottle of oil Josh kept in there–because of course he did–and uncapped it to dribble a bit into his palm. He bit his lip and sank back against the tiles as he wrapped his hand around himself again, stroking until he was rock hard and dripping. 

He was imagining Danny’s hand in place of his, the other strong hand shoving him back against the tile by his shoulder, yet still carefully. Danny could take Jake down into submission of any kind so easily if he wanted–it turned Jake on more to know that he never would. Hurting someone would always be the last thing on Danny’s mind–hurting Jake, even more so, which made him feel special and cherished and made another warm droplet leak out of him.

“Fuck,” Jake muttered from underneath the water. His brow was furrowing above his shut eyes as he stroked, then he reached his other hand down to toy with his balls. So full. So full all the time, especially these days. He couldn’t get enough of his own fantasies and also the reality of Danny touching him, stroking him, grabbing him and kissing him. In the grand scheme of things, he’d had so little of it yet Jake couldn’t imagine ever not having it. Like sleeping in the same bed–they needed one another.

He ground his ass back against the cool tile and started to thrust into his fist, still envisioning Danny’s perfectly strong and sculpted hand wrapped around his weeping cock, getting more of the juices flowing, making Jake tremble and beg. The oil made his skin slick, as did the stream of precum that seemed to be endless, and soon enough he really was trembling, his thighs quivering as he reached his left hand out to steady himself on the wall; a moment and one stifled shriek later, he was releasing all over the floor in front of himself, the white goo swirling down the drain with the water. 

A few last shudders rolled over him–he moved into the stream of water again, taking his oiled hand and running it through his pubic hair, then up to his belly. Was Danny actually taking the opportunity to jerk off in his bed? That seemed like the smartest thing to do, given that they were already running so far behind, and the thought made Jake’s dick twitch again.

As Jake headed out of the bathroom, Danny immediately headed in, already shirtless. “Sam won’t get off my back,” he said briskly as he moved past. It looked like he thought better of his abruptness and turned from the doorway, tilting his head and smiling a little. “You smell good.”

“I used Sam’s body wash,” Jake said with a shrug. “Karma for him.”

“You don’t have to wait for me,” Danny said, as if Jake had offered. “The whole crew is getting impatient for us to get off.”

_Get off._ Well, Jake had achieved that. He’d have to smell the sheets to know if Danny had as well. 

-

It could have been pure paranoia that made Jake think Sam was giving him looks, eyeing both him and Danny as if he was warily inspecting them but, either way, he wasn’t a fan of it. Josh seemed like he couldn’t be bothered, bopping his head to the song churning out from the radio overhead the booths. Jake squirmed next to him, the hard wood seat beneath him not at all like the squishy pleather diner booths back home–sure, they had been to so many grand new places, tried so many amazing new dishes and drinks, lived a life that most people could only dream of and, even then, couldn’t dream of accurately, but Jake found himself missing home more and more the longer the tour went on. 

It wouldn’t go on forever. Danny was right. Josh’s vocal chords were a testament to that, as were all of their respective levels of exhaustion even if none of them wanted to admit it. While Danny was more often than not the mother hen of the group, even Jake found himself urging the kid to eat more; Josh chimed in sometimes too, thrusting forkfuls at the rhythm section and making sure they all took their vitamins. Even if Jake and Danny became something, the drummer would always be younger, always in need of some sort of guidance, and Jake wasn’t at all opposed to giving it to him. He just wished that there was someone to help guide _him_ , too, even when his stubbornness attempted to defy that desire.

He watched Danny and Sam more intently than he ever had in the past–their friendship was something special too, everyone knew that. Everyone could see that. Their give and take seemed endless, as did Sam’s little jabs and Danny’s sly smirks, the two of them seeming as though they’d never really left the sandbox. Jake and Josh were similar in that regard–adolescent bickering could resume at any opportunity, even with their more adult temperaments and grown patience with one another–but they were blood. They didn’t have a choice, really. Danny and Sam had chosen to give in to one another. 

Jake sometimes wondered what glued them together so permanently–now, he was wondering if there was a way to loosen that glue for his own benefit. He looked down at the table–that wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be thinking of it that way. A conversation needed to ensue, Jake realized, even if he didn’t want to face it. He still didn’t feel capable of getting the words right and he knew Danny didn’t feel capable either, but they would have to try. Their little bubble in the comfort of the tour wasn’t going to last forever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loved writing this chapter, although it’s arguably the one I slaved over the most. I always enjoy a little angst…although I think you’ll catch onto the fact that creating any sort of turmoil between these two is challenging. I can’t imagine their bond ever being anything but completely solid and full of mutual love and admiration.

All of the words Jake had considered and tried to construct into eloquent, perhaps even poetic, sentences went right out the window that night–six shots of whiskey and two beers will do that to a person, especially a person of his stature. He could hold his own–probably better than the rest of the band gave him credit for–but by the third shot and first beer, he was tripping over his words and, by the sixth shot and second beer, he was staggering as he stood, haphazardly leaning into any of the three of them to keep himself upright. 

He wasn’t sure where that had come from. Yes, they all liked to have a good time and they were all young enough to still drink irresponsibly much of the time, plus drinking in a new bar always had a kind of hazy, sparkling allure, but Jake hardly ever got _so_ fucking plastered. He wasn’t sure if he felt good or if he felt bad, he just knew he felt completely wasted and the music was starting to seem too loud but it still felt a little nice thumping through his eardrums. 

He also wasn’t sure where exactly the glass of ice water and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich triangle on a paper napkin had come from, but he scarfed it down and sipped the water dutifully, blinking at the strings of colored lights roped around the bar. His thoughts were as hazy as the place itself and the thin veil of moonlight that he saw as the back door opened and then shut, but one thought remained clear–Danny.

Danny’s hand was on his shoulder then–Jake looked up to see that beautiful, dark face and his smile grew into a toothy grin. He felt himself tilt his head as he looked up at him, like a puppy, like a lovesick little kid, but couldn’t even fault himself. He hadn’t asked to become enamoured with the guy who was just supposed to be his friend, just supposed to be their drummer, just supposed to be their brother-without-blood.

“Daniel,” he said, still gawking.

Danny snorted a little, his cupid’s bow turning up for half a second. “I’m ‘Daniel’ tonight? You’re turning into Sam.”

Jake pouted. “No. I’m not Sam.”

Danny smirked and Jake really felt like a little kid. “I know you’re not. Are you–”

Jake tugged on his arm. “Sit down. I don’t like you being above me.”

“I’m always above you,” Danny reminded him, but he did sit down on the stool next to Jake. “Technically. Height-wise.” Jake could see the alcohol-induced flush over his cheeks too, but Danny was clearly nowhere near the level he was at. Their drummer wasn’t a lightweight by any means and he was also good at pretending to be more sober than he actually was, usually only until Sam got his claws in again, though. Jake wondered where Sam had gotten off to anyway, and if Danny would be scooped up by him any second.

“Am I what?” Jake asked, only then realizing he’d cut Danny off.

“Are you good?”

He drank more water, letting a couple half-melted ice cubes slide into his mouth. “Yeah. I’m good. Did you bring me this?”

“Yeah. Oh man,” Danny said, leaning back and eyeing him. “You’re really wasted.”

It was true, but Jake suddenly felt self-conscious about it. He didn’t need Danny to be worried or, even worse, judge him. He knew the latter would never truly happen; the former, however, was guaranteed to happen. Was happening. “I just didn’t see you.”

But Danny approached it delicately, as he always did. He tilted his head just a notch and looked at Jake with soft, dark eyes. “Want more water?”

Jake lifted the glass again and poured more ice into his mouth, gnawing it. “Sure.”

Once he’d finished the second glass of water, Danny asked, “Do you wanna go back to the hotel now?” 

Jake wasn’t sure. He hadn’t liked putting his stuff in one room, the cold isolation of a hotel room palpable even with his brothers being two, three rooms down, and half-believing that Danny would join him again. He wanted to sleep next to him again. He wanted to be held again. He just wasn’t sure if he wanted that when he was completely wasted. He also got the sense that Danny wasn’t asking in a sexy way, but asking in a mothering way, like Jake needed to be ushered out and put to bed because he’d gone too far. Maybe he just needed another sandwich, wherever that had come from. 

“I don’t know,” Jake answered. “Where’s Josh and Sam?”

“Outside.”

Jake turned and squinted at the back door. “Oh.”

“I’m done for the night,” Danny said. “But if you want to stay, I’ll stay.”

He didn’t mean to, but Jake scoffed. “You don’t need to babysit me, Danny,” he slurred, then laughed a little.

Danny laughed almost silently, looking at Jake with one dark eyebrow raised. “Sometimes super drunk people need to be babysat. Just a little bit.” 

Jake considered that. “You like doing it. You like feeling needed.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Now’s not the time for Dr. Jake.” He relaxed his posture and sighed, glancing to the bartop. “It’s not a conscious thing. I feel like that’s my–well, one of–my roles, you know? It just happened.”

Jake extended one leg to lightly kick Danny’s shin. “Well, we do need you. Drunk or sober.” He took his foot back against the bar stool and slumped forward, still unsure of what he wanted, only knowing that he really didn’t want to be babysat. He wanted to have a good time. They wouldn’t be young forever. 

He stood up, more steady on his feet thanks to the hydration and the bit of food to tide him over, and tugged on Danny’s sleeve. “Alright, let’s go.” He let go, suddenly sheepish, and stepped back. “If you want.”

“Last I saw, Josh and Sam were weaving their way into a group of girls,” Danny said, getting up and towering over Jake again. “Let’s head out.”

The walk felt long and hot, hotter than the September heats were back home, although Jake realized he hadn’t been around to experience much of that in a long time. Having a night off from performing was something they all treasured even with how much they all treasured being onstage in the first place, and it was in those infrequent bouts of downtime that Jake became nostalgic and sentimental. He couldn’t help it. But he was glad that he’d made the decision to form this band, this brotherhood, with his actual brothers–they all kept each other tethered to the earth in some way or another. 

Especially Danny. Their rock. Jake’s rock. He smirked to himself as they walked and Jake thought about how often they were simply regarded as the “quiet ones.” If Josh would shut up more often, Jake was sure they’d both have more to say, if only they could find the words.

Damn it. The words. Jake felt them tangled and bulky in his throat. What did he want to say? He wished he could speak in colors instead–the deep, almost-black azure of the night sky seemed fitting for the two of them, anyway. Unconsciously, Jake looped his arm in with Danny’s, making the drummer’s stride slow down and their footsteps almost match. He half-expected Danny to take his arm back but he kept it there, and the feeling of their skin gently being held together made the rest of the walk go by faster.

He didn’t want to ask if Danny would be joining him–that felt a little needy, a little too drunken-damsel-in-distress. But he did want to know–the need to ask was grating on him as they got further into the hotel, eventually stopping right in front of the same elevators Jake had said Danny wouldn’t be allowed to leave his room if he joined him.

He smirked to himself again. That had been a surprisingly good decision on his part. 

The sign that said “ballroom” caught Jake’s attention–he eyed it until the elevator dinged and then grabbed Danny’s arm, pulling him back. “Wait.”

Danny tried to follow his eyes. “What?”

Jake gave a head tilt to the sign. “Let’s check it out.”

Danny gave it a lingering glance and tugged Jake forward. “Okay. We have to take the elevator anyway.”

Typical Danny–no questions asked. Jake wondered how he operated like that. 

The ballroom was dim and vast and totally empty, making it seem even bigger and more impressive than it probably was crowded with wedding guests or office workers, Jake figured. Some of the alcohol had worn out of him but he was still drunk enough to find the still-lit white string lights as glittery and as remarkable as the lights in the bar had been, and he loved the cascade of darkness surrounding them. It was only the little white lights sprinkled throughout and the two vivid, crimson exit signs and he and Danny within.

“Have you ever slow-danced with someone?” Jake inquired, looking up at Danny in the dark. Before the other could answer, Jake quipped, “Of course you have–you went to prom.”

Danny snorted. “Yeah. So did you.”

“Red boutonniere. What did you have?”

“Yellow.”

“Hm.” Jake looked around them, his eyes adjusting and making out the shapes of chairs and tables. “What song did you slow dance to?”

Danny’s chin tilted up for a moment. “Um–Take My Breath Away.”

Jake wheezed. “You did not!”

“I did. It was very 80s. What about you?”

“Aerosmith,” Jake answered. “Oh god, what’s it called? ‘I don’t’–something like that.”

“‘I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing,” Danny said, then grimaced. “It’s bad.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah.” 

There was a pause and the air felt thick, then Danny asked, “Why’d you wanna come up here?”

Jake hesitated too, the words still tangled, but the least he could do was try. Try even while still drunk and a little off-balance, his throat becoming dry as he started to speak but, when he opened his mouth, nothing came out and frustration and embarrassment rushed to his cheeks in a rapid heatwave–in a drunkenly impulsive way to combat that, Jake shoved himself against Danny and ran his hands down the sturdy, warm waist, inching up with the help of his boots to press his lips to his neck.

Danny’s chuckle vibrated against Jake’s mouth. “So that’s why?”

It was one reason why, and one reason Jake could articulate without using words. He pressed them even closer together, wedged his knee between Danny’s thighs, and nibbled on the thin skin at the base of his throat until he heard a hiss and Danny’s hand grabbed his ass and squeezed. With that, it was like the alcohol surged in his blood all over again at full power, a rush of it to his crotch too, and he sank his teeth in again, harder. He could taste salt and musk as he inhaled Danny’s cologne, the dark, rich fragrance not quite rich enough to cover his natural scent. That was the one Jake wanted to breathe in.

Danny hissed again and threw his head back. “Fuck.” Big hands grabbed Jake’s hips and pulled him in close; Danny started to grind against him as Jake continued, little love bites littering his throat, hot and stinging.

“I want–” Jake started to say, straining to stay on tip-toe to keep his teeth on Danny’s neck, then he bit down and sucked as he shut his eyes. Yes, he wanted–but what did Danny want? “Tell me what you want.”

There was a pause before Danny said, “What do _you_ want?”

Jake snorted against his neck and let himself drop down to the soles of his feet. “What a cop-out,” he remarked, shaking his head, then grabbed the back of Danny’s neck and pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss. “You know what I want. I want it tonight, now.”

Danny went in for another kiss, snarling against Jake’s mouth, then said, “I told you–you’re not ready, Jake.”

Jake pulled back but kept his hand on the back of his neck, the grip becoming ever-so-slightly threatening. “ _I’m_ not ready or _you’re_ not ready?”

“Maybe both?” Danny backed himself flat against the wall, loosening Jake’s grip on himself but he kept his hands on the two bony hips. “What if we–and then you–I don’t know, like, fall in love–”

Jake stepped back, leaving a gap of dark between them. Had he heard that right? “‘Fall in love?’” he repeated, voice rising even higher because of the alcohol. Maybe he really shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. “What am I, a 16 year old girl?” Danny didn’t even try to speak–Jake paused and crossed his arms, eyes dropping to the floor. The tile glittered silver and obsidian under the white string lights, every fleck of granite and marble and quartz or whatever it all was sparkling in his vision. He needed to sit down. 

“So what if we fall in love?” Jake mumbled, heart beating furiously and telling him to keep his eyes down but he looked up at Danny anyway. “Isn’t that–what, so, you wouldn’t want that?”

Danny inhaled deeply. “I don’t think it would be very wise.”

He felt like he’d been slapped in the face. Danny, of all people, was telling him that being in love was unwise. No, he realized, not being in love. _Jake_ being in love with him was unwise. He let his arms drop and then shoved his hands into his pockets, sighing out booze and what he surmised to be anger, disappointment and sadness all at once: “Okay.” As an afterthought, as he shifted on his feet to start walking away, he added, “I suppose I thought that was already happening. But _I’m_ the slut, right?”

It sounded like a scoff and a nervous laugh coming from Danny. “You’re not a slut and I don’t think I am either,” he protested gently and reached for Jake’s arm. “I do love you. I love you in all sorts of ways. But–”

Now Jake was unreasonably furious and everything–including Danny’s decorum–was clouded. “I want to be with you. Did I need to spell it out for you? Isn’t it obvious?” He tugged his arm away and stumbled backward, then swatted at Danny as he reached out again in an attempt to steady him. “This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t have said anything–you think we’re gonna play better now? We’re gonna play _worse_.”

“What do you mean?” Danny whined. Jake could feel rather than see him trailing behind as he started to leave the ballroom. “Come on, Jake, stop.” He grabbed for Jake’s arm again and successfully snagged it, twirling him around. “I think maybe you’re so drunk you think you’re sure of this but in sober reality, it’s not that simple.”

“What’s so complicated?” Jake asked quietly, eyes darting to the side as the nearby elevator dinged. Great. A domestic issue between two male bandmates in the hallway–maybe it would make a good story someday. “I want to be with you. I figured it out.”

“How?”

“What, ‘how?’ How could I not want you?”

“Now’s not the best time,” Danny began, each syllable growing quieter and quieter, and he let Jake’s arm go. “We’re on tour, Jake. Fooling around is one thing. Being a couple?” He tilted his head and sighed. “That’s different.”

The elevator dinged again and a couple got off, sparing Jake and Danny a brief glance before walking in the opposite direction. Jake started toward the elevator, not waiting for Danny, although he knew he was right behind him. He was bitter, scathed and hot, because Danny was right–it _was_ different. And probably completely unwise. But the timing wouldn’t ever be wise–even though this tour wouldn’t last forever, there would be another tour eventually. 

Inside the elevator, underneath the golden light and surrounded by the golden, mirrored panels, Jake let Danny pull his backside against his chest anyway, strong, tan arms wrapped around his chest. Jake inhaled, exhaled, and fought away a laugh as Danny tipped his head down and nestled his chin over the top of his head; there came again the thought, the desire, to just stay with him in their own little world.

Jake half-hoped Danny wouldn’t be able to hear him and wouldn’t ask him to repeat himself as he asked, “Are you moving to LA with Sam?” 

Danny sighed. “Maybe.” He squeezed his arms around Jake. “You’re more than welcome to come. Both you and Josh.”

Jake swiveled around in his arms, looking up into his eyes. “I don’t want to. I want us together, ideally, but not there.”

“It’s far away. I know that.”

“I don’t want to think about it.”

“We can talk about it.”

“It’s not even practical.”

Danny’s hand moved to cradle the back of Jake’s head, then he leaned down and pressed their mouths together, his tongue slipping past Jake’s lips the moment they connected. The mixed messages were eating through Jake like acid but he relaxed into Danny’s touches and kisses anyway, the final ding of the elevator the only thing to break them apart.

It was back to wordlessness as they pawed their way into Danny’s room–Jake almost asked, Why not _his_ room? but let it happen, let Danny’s hands guide him through the doorway and into the stark, sharply chilled and pristine room. They landed on the bed, shirts already half-unbuttoned and their jeans were next, all four hands scrambling to get more and more skin and heat out. So what if it was mostly lust? Jake could live with that–maybe. He was drunk enough to care too much but also not care at all, if he could take a page from his twin and manipulate his fears into something else. 

He almost bit down against the same bruised flash of skin he’d left on Danny previously but moved to the other, less wounded side and kissed and licked the warm skin. Danny’s hands tugged Jake’s shirt away; the chill air made his nipples hard and hypersensitive as his fingers roamed over them lightly, and Jake arched his back and nipped at his neck in response. 

Danny attempted to roll him over but a smaller hand in the center of his chest stopped him. “I’m ready for you,” Jake said, meeting Danny’s eyes, challenging. “You know I am.”

Danny exhaled and sank back, face relaxing with the slightest bit of skepticism painted over his gaze. “So this is it?”

Both hands were planted flat on his chest then, and Jake properly straddled Danny’s hips and squeezed his thighs around him. “This is what?”

Danny smirked. “The consummation.”

Jake wheezed and arched his back again, head thrown back in laughter. “We already did that.”

“But this completes it,” Danny said, suddenly serious. “That was me. This is you.”

Jake leaned down slowly until the tips of their noses were touching. “Are you afraid?”

Danny didn’t blink. “Of what?”

“Love.”

“No. But also, yeah.”

“It’s okay. Tonight,” Jake began, starting to rock back and forth. “We’re gonna show each other how we want to love each other. Y’know?” He kissed Danny’s mouth deeply, both of their breaths swelling back into their chests, then moved his lips to Danny’s cheek. “Let’s test your stamina tonight–let me ride you first.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the cliffhanger.

“Ride me _first_?” Danny questioned, his hands on Jake’s hips. “We’re going to switch positions eventually?”

“If we can.” Jake scooted down Danny’s thighs, pulling his jeans down as he went. Danny was already half-hard but intimidating even then. “I bet you have killer stamina. I bet I just haven’t seen it yet.”

Danny snorted and sat up, lifting his legs, incidentally moving Jake off him, and tore his jeans away from himself. “Unimpressed?” 

No, certainly not. Jake sat back on the bed and moved his eyes down Danny’s long, tan, nearly-naked body, drinking in the view as the brown-flashing-gold eyes met his own and moved down Jake’s body too, silently urging him to strip the rest of the way as well. Jake did, standing up to drop his pants and then his boxers, quickly crawling to Danny to yank down his as well. 

He slid into his lap, their groins pressed together, hot and getting harder and harder as they rubbed and ground against one another; Jake tipped Danny’s head back and laced his fingers through his hair, his own calloused fingertips grazing his scalp, and guided their mouths together. Danny’s kiss gave into his, his body having fallen more slack against the headboard, his hands loosely wrapped around Jake’s upper arms. Jake slid his tongue into Danny’s mouth and both of their heads tilted to work with the other, to have their lips mold and mesh and their tongues warm each other in a mess of saliva and heat. 

Jake was moaning into his mouth just from being naked and on top of him, the warm meeting of skin and muscle sending a shiver down his spine that vibrated underneath his hands. He was just starting to sink his teeth into his bottom lip when he found himself being gently shoved onto his back; Danny kept their mouths together, still kissing Jake back hungrily, as he grabbed his ankles and hooked shorter, lithe legs around his hips. 

A surprised squeak found its way out of Jake’s throat–Danny smiled against his lips and pressed them together at the hips, sinking his weight into him. Still buzzed from all the whiskey and beer, Jake found his kisses getting more and more sloppy and, when he finally pulled back to look at him, he saw that he had painted Danny’s chin with saliva. He giggled and hiccuped, then groaned–that wasn’t sexy.

Danny laughed. “Whoops. Too much beer, Jake.”

Another hiccup. “Yeah,” Jake said quietly, face growing hot. Being embarrassed in front of Danny–that wasn’t ever an issue before. Jake was in love, it was obvious, so much clearer with a little alcohol in his veins than when he was sober–would Danny be embarrassed if it were him?

Danny smiled a little, eyelashes cast down, and lowered himself. Jake hiccuped again and watched him press his lips lightly to the center of his chest: “Hold your breath.” 

Jake did–tried–but another hiccup burst out of him and his chest thumped beneath Danny’s lips, which were still just beneath his sternum. “Didn’t work,” he said, but tried again anyway. 

“Keep trying,” Danny instructed and kissed his chest again. He moved slightly to the right as one hand ran up Jake’s side and to his right pec, fingertips so close to brushing over his nipple; Jake waited with bated breath–literally–and stifled a whimper as the tip of Danny’s tongue flicked over the other and then his mouth latched around it.

“My mom used to give me a spoonful of peanut butter when I had the hiccups,” Danny commented, lifting himself just enough to say it and then lowering himself again to kiss his way across Jake’s chest.

How was he even talking? Jake was nearly shaking beneath him, still struggling to hold his breath with Danny’s lips and tongue moving over him so slowly. “Do you have any?” he managed to ask, immediately sucking in his breath and holding it after, although another hiccup surfaced. 

“No,” Danny chuckled. He pressed his hand to the same spot he’d kissed, below Jake’s sternum, and leaned forward between his legs. “Keep holding it.”

Somehow Jake was still hard through all this–harder still, with the pressure of Danny’s palm over such a vulnerable area and the teasing his nipples had endured, even if short-lived. He spread his legs more and arched his lower back, still holding his breath, his eyes locked on Danny’s own concentration over his chest. They stayed like that for a minute and each second Jake anticipated another hiccup, but they seemed to have stopped and he was more than eager to continue, so he exhaled and then inhaled greedily.

“You can hold your breath for a long time,” Danny noted, lifting his palm and leaving a slight red imprint. “That’s surprising considering all the cigarettes you used to smoke.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we all know you’re the good one.”

Danny grinned. “I am.” He looked down again and reached out to rub Jake’s chest. “Think they’re gone?”

Jake nodded, breathing heavily not just from the air he’d neglected to give himself prior but from the tender, back and forth touch over his chest. He reached up and dragged his fingertips through Danny’s hair at his temples, drawing lines through the thick, dark strands before tucking a piece behind his left ear; he sat up a bit and latched his teeth to his earlobe, metal clinking against bone and his lips pursing around the skin, making him laugh.

“That tickles!” Danny said, laughing more and trying to pull away. 

Jake didn’t relent, he only nibbled up the curve of his ear instead, smirking to himself as he felt Danny’s hands squeezing his waist. “You’ll let me ride you?” 

One hand slid down to Jake’s thigh. “You think you can?” Danny questioned, huffing. “Pony boy?”

“‘ _Pony boy_?’” Jake repeated, chuckling and nipping at Danny’s jaw and pawing at his torso again. “I’ll show you ‘pony boy.’ Lie back, Danny.” When he did, Jake straddled him and started to grind their groins together, a tough friction of dick-on-dick that almost hurt because of the lack of lubrication but also because of how badly Jake wanted that. 

Why was the desire to have someone else–Danny–inside him so intense? It was so utterly strange but not quite strange enough to stop what he was doing. He tilted his head down and let a trail of saliva dangle from his tongue to their cocks, wrapped his hand as best he could around both to slick them, and resumed grinding, the thoughts continuing in the back of his mind: Danny had taken Jake, after all, and it wasn’t entirely about just giving in and being submissive. Danny wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t wanted to. It wasn’t being a “bottom bitch” or “the woman.” It wasn’t even as simple as being submissive–it was wanting to be connected. It was about love, as cheesy as that fact was when Jake realized it.

That big cock in his hand and rubbing his own, fuck, it was love and lust compacted. “I want to try going down on you again,” Jake proclaimed, already hopping off Danny’s hips and down between his thighs. “I can hold my breath for an impressively long time, after all. Now I just have to train my gag reflex.” 

Danny groaned quietly, hips twitching as Jake’s hand wrapped around his dick. “I read that if you make a fist and squeeze your thumb, it helps.”

Jake looked up, an eyebrow raised. “You ‘read?’ What made you Google that?”

“We, y’know, do stuff,” Danny said quietly. “I wanted to see what I could do to make it better. Potentially.”

“So you have thought about our future,” Jake noted and held Danny’s cock and dragged his tongue up the length. “Even if it’s in just a carnal sense.”

“I think about you–and all of us–all the time.” Danny laid his head back and arched, threatening to shove himself down Jake’s throat prematurely. 

Jake pulled back, more saliva already clinging to the soft pink skin, licked up each vein again and wrapped his lips around the head, taste buds met with the increasingly familiar, musky-yet-sweet precum that beaded from the tiny slit. Of course both–all–of them were largely consumed with thoughts of each other. Where would they go next? Did anyone get a start on any new material? What sort of image do they want for the next album? There were too many questions all of the time. And why the hell was Jake pondering any of them now, with Danny’s dick in his mouth? 

He sucked the head hard and twisted the shaft in his fist, flicking his eyes up to watch Danny arch again and tilt his chin straight up, the muscles in his biceps flexing as he stretched. So that big, gentle beast had Googled how to better suck dick? Fascinating. Jake made a fist with his left hand and squeezed his thumb inside it, then slid his tongue flat beneath the head of Danny’s cock; he lowered himself little by little, trying to relax his jaw and his throat, trying not to have his teeth so much as graze the sensitive flesh in his mouth. 

The trick seemed to be working–he was halfway down, Danny’s dick already lodged, what felt like anyway, so far back in his throat Jake would undoubtedly be gagging and prying himself off without it. Before, he had been on his knees but now, with Danny’s legs spread around him and Jake hovering over his lower half, he felt like he had regained some control. He loved seeing Danny coming undone with each suction of his tongue, he loved the soft moans that turned into verbal affirmations and he loved _Danny_.

“Goddamn,” Danny huffed, head thrashing to the side, his eyes closed. “If you want–fuck–to ride me, you better slow your roll.” 

Jake slowly eased himself off and crawled back up to his mate, taking his jaw in hand and guiding their eyes together. “I’m that good, huh?” he purred, sliding his tongue into Danny’s mouth before he could answer. 

Another thing Jake had learned–he loved Danny’s kisses. What that boy could do with his mouth had been beyond Jake’s comprehension or experience. No woman had ever kissed him like that, with such tenderness but such deep hunger like a veil not far behind, and no woman’s kisses had ever complimented his own so perfectly. It just made sense. They played together, worked together, moved together in all ways with Danny’s lips as soft as clouds and that taste on his tongue that Jake beckoned for more of. 

“You really want to?” Danny asked when a parting of their mouths finally came. His lashes fluttered; Jake looked down to his saliva-slicked, flushed and swollen lips and withheld a groan.

He rolled his hips into Danny’s as a nonverbal affirmation before the simple assurance: “Yes.”

A hand reached down and squeezed his ass. “Lie down,” Danny said, shifting underneath Jake. “I know you wanna ride me, but we gotta get you saddled up first.”

Jake snickered and rolled over onto his back, spreading out. “You have lube?” he questioned, eyes to the ceiling as Danny got up and then the lights dimmed.

“I stole yours from your bag before we left the bus,” Danny said, then his weight returned to the bed. Jake looked up and he knelt between his legs, one hand on his knee. 

Another snicker. “So you expected this to happen.”

“Maybe. More or less,” Danny replied. Jake let his head fall back to the pillows again and he heard the cap of the lube pop open. “It’s not that I didn’t want this, I just–” 

“You don’t have to explai–” Jake’s response got cut off by his own gasp as the cool slick slid between his legs and to that place that no one had absolutely ever touched. Had that been what Danny felt? It made Jake sputter and arch, throwing one leg off to the side as his heart started to pound. 

“You okay?” Danny asked, the hand on Jake’s knee sliding down to his shin. Jake managed a nod and felt more of the slick cover him, felt the pressure of something sliding in and in; the gasp turned into a moan and he felt another.

So this was it–the moment. The consummation, as Danny had called it. In Jake’s own fleeting, quick-moving snapshot fantasies, he hadn’t been able to conjure up such an intense experience. There was no going back from this, he knew it and he knew Danny was well aware of that too–nothing would ever be the same between them ever again. Jake hoped in his pounding heart that that would forever be a good thing.

Three fingers, Jake felt that too and a tinge of something electric that made him jump a little, squirm and gasp, air getting caught in his chest. He wanted that feeling again and Danny noticed, one eyebrow raising as he worked his fingers to do it again, but Jake’s mind went back to being completely conscious of hardly anything beyond the awkward fullness and stretching. He was more aware of that than he would have liked, but Danny was being slow and gentle and soothingly rubbing his shin and calf with his free hand. An involuntary whimper swept through the room and Danny moved forward, hovering over him, and lowered himself to kiss the next whimper away. Eventually, with enough kisses and enough gentle cajoling and stretching, Jake felt undoubtedly, excitedly and terrifyingly ready.

They switched positions, with Danny rolling onto his back, hair fanned out and catching glimmers of the low, golden light, and Jake straddled him once more, already moving back and forth. Danny groped for the condom he’d brought along and held it out to Jake, who swatted it away. “When I said I want to feel all of you, I meant it.”

One dark brow raised but all Danny said was, “You trust me?”

“With my life,” Jake said, and he meant it. “You trust me?”

Danny smiled and clasped one hand over his heart. “With my life.” 

Jake replaced Danny’s hand with his own, placing his palm right over his heart as he lifted himself enough for Danny to reach down and align himself; Jake took a deep breath and held it, then started to sink down. Inexperienced though he was, he knew dropping his full weight down wouldn’t work in either one of their favors but the slow descend was almost more emotionally painful than it was physically. Danny was big–so big–but Jake wanted to get there, to feel it all, to be consumed. 

The heart that began to beat wildly in the drummer’s chest, right under Jake’s palm, slowed his mind. He brought his fingers closer together over it, trying to feel more of it, and closed his eyes. Danny’s heart, Danny’s breathing; his own heart, his own breathing. Second by second, inch by inch, they were getting there. 

Danny’s thigh shifted and Jake’s eyes opened. He finally let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding and pressed his palm harder against Danny’s chest: “Don’t move.” 

“I’m not,” Danny said, simply resting his hands on Jake’s hips. “I won’t.”

Jake closed his eyes again, brow tightening as he descended on what he felt like–hoped–was the last couple of inches. Jesus Christ, how did girls do it? How was he even doing it? It couldn’t all be physical, there had to be something else, maybe some divine intervention. With how full he felt, so completely stretched to his limit, Jake even wondered if he’d ever be able to do it again. If that was the case, he would need to make this really count. 

He sat there, focusing again on his own breathing and Danny’s, and eventually his mind took in the sensations beyond that–the patient hands on his hips, the soft groan that sounded from beneath Jake as he just barely shifted atop those strong thighs, the heart beneath his palm, how hot and alive his own body felt. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for but Danny’s thighs twitched and his fingers tightened their grip around Jake’s hips just so, so he bent down, angling himself and hugged Danny’s thighs tight with his own. 

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Danny’s eyes were closed and he was biting his lip, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed like he was fighting back all sounds. Jake groaned instead, huffed and whimpered, as he brought himself down a little lower and started to writhe back and forth slowly; he was getting used to it, the feeling of being completely stretched turning into more of the fullness he’d been after all along. It was another cheesy thought, Jake realized, but he felt–he was–so completely connected to Danny that that notion alone made him moan his name and squeeze the drummer’s thighs again. He took a breath and bent down even more, low enough to tap the tip of his nose against Danny’s and then kiss him, Jake’s eyes closing again.

One of Danny’s hands lifted from Jake’s hip and went to the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair, tilting Jake’s head to kiss him harder, deeper. Jake whined against his mouth and writhed again, the haphazard movements slowly becoming steady rocking, the hand on his hip still motionless but nevertheless encouraging him to do his best to add a bounce. 

With that, Danny groaned, tearing himself away from Jake’s mouth. He exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut tighter; Jake’s closed too, just for a moment, just for enough time to get him completely centered and ready to really ride. It hurt still, just a little, but vocalizing that was sure to make Danny stop and Jake knew that the tough burn would eventually subside and he would ride that stallion into the next dimension if he did his damnedest.

He reached up and back to grip the headboard, summoning all of his core and lower body strength to help him, and got into the rhythm. He was thinking again, thinking about how hard Danny pounded his drum set, the groove they got into together whether it be fucking around in the studio or in front of thousands of people; flashes of Danny sweaty and wild ran behind his eyes, interrupted by the live version of sweaty but withheld Danny underneath him. Yes, he was holding back, Jake could see it–the hands on his hips lingered gently but he felt them squeeze slightly and then retract, and Danny’s eyes opened and grew wide and wet like a silent plea, lips parted below them but no sound came out.

“Talk to me,” Jake commanded, voice hoarse and thighs starting to burn. 

Danny’s hands around his hips tightened again. “You’re so–tight.”

Jake moaned softly and brought his hands from the headboard to Danny’s chest. “Yeah–I’m sure.” He rocked back and forth some more, digging his fingertips into his chest, the words to describe the feeling of Danny inside him lost. His fingers drew back into angles, knuckles curling, as the skin beneath his fingertips heated and flushed and then, with the additional aid of Danny’s right hand sliding over his thigh, the hairs standing to life under his touch, Jake started to really ride.

He pushed past the pain, the lingering burn–he let his eyes close against the dim light and Danny’s gaze, perhaps awestruck, perhaps just shot through with lust, and bounced and rocked. He used his lower body, his whole body, onstage nearly every damn night but this was something different. He had to be deliberate with his movements enough to keep the burn at bay, both inside himself and the burn starting to creep through his glutes, quads and hamstrings, while also allowing himself to become fluid. He wanted Danny to get in on it, to have that calm sea get a little more wind through its waves, but Jake needed just a few more moments of summoning the natural and mystical world on his own.

Jake was sweating and panting as Danny pulled him down, shoving his face into the crook of his neck. He let it happen without any resistance, just buried his face there and inhaled deep the scent of Danny’s own sweat and heat, everything musky and warm and rich; Danny grunted and moaned, his right hand squeezing Jake’s thigh and his left gripping his hip with, what Jake guessed was, restrained pressure. 

Enough lube, stretching and time had passed–Jake welcomed Danny bucking up into him, dense hipbones smacking up against his thighs. He turned his cheek, nudging Danny’s neck with his nose, licking up the length of him to his ear to nibble on cartilage and metal, his own moans stifled with his teeth around whatever he could get. One of Danny’s arms moved up and around him to cradle, the hand attached moving to hold the back of Jake’s head and eventually urge him in closer until Jake was sucking wild new hickeys into his neck and shoulder. More bruises, more wounds; Danny reciprocated, shoving Jake against his chest and biting into his clavicle and then his shoulder. 

Jake yelped, cried out–he almost laughed as Danny’s hair tickled his sensitive skin, everything blazing just for him. Danny hit that spot again–sharper, chrome-slick electricity jolted through Jake again, instigating the most unhinged and animalistic noises from him that he tried to stifle. His dick was rubbing back and forth frantically along Danny’s abdomen with their combined thrusts and gyrations, his balls full and aching, ready to spill all over the tan abs and dark hair. A second position wouldn’t be happening but that was okay–Jake thought Danny had already proved enough stamina and willpower by holding back, by being patient and letting Jake “saddle up,” as was said before. No, Jake was getting ready to blow, the breathy whines into Danny’s ear a sure sign of it, as were Danny’s increasingly loud grunts and moans, both of them lost in the other. 

“Oh god, Jake–please–,” Danny groaned, a stifled whimper following. He lowered his hand from Jake’s hip to his ass and squeezed and kneaded with enough force to get Jake moving even faster. “Please come, please do it–”

Oh, good lord, the _begging_. Jake pulled himself away from the crook of Danny’s neck and attacked his mouth instead, all sloppy tongue and gnawing teeth; the kisses and the orgasm were both primal too, with Jake biting down into Danny’s bottom lip and growling as the hot strings of silky white painted abs and chest and, inside, he started to throb and squeeze. Danny growled back, lower and softer, and yanked on his hair–Jake could feel the heat enter him and his first instinct was to scramble up and away, but then it seemed to swell all around him and he relaxed again. The burn was long gone–he was left with nothing but an absolute fullness and the feeling of being totally, completely connected to this otherworldly being beneath him, plus the now-constant rubbing and nudging of his prostate, which made his legs tremble around Danny. 

Both of their bodies shuddered–Jake felt a cold tingle run through him, contrasted by the heat still warming his insides. He rocked back and forth slowly, the come down more intense than he’d ever experienced, and pressed his mouth to Danny’s jaw. “I love you,” he whispered, a residual moan brushing through his lips and he shuddered again. “Fuck.”

Danny wrapped his arms around him and exhaled as he shifted, planting his face against Jake’s shoulder. “I know,” he said, muffled. “I love you, too.”

Jake shook his head. Goddammit, Danny had been right–they’d broken the seal, opened Pandora’s box, shaken themselves to the core and Jake’s heart felt like it would be permanently ripped out if he didn’t clarify. “No,” he said, pulling on Danny’s hair, making him look up. “I’m in love with you. You were right.”

A fingertip traced down Jake’s spine; the other hand moved slowly down his side, lovingly. “I know,” Danny said again, their eyes meeting. “I’m in love with you too.” He chuckled and reached both hands down to lift Jake slowly off him, something that probably would have made Jake hard again if he weren’t feeling so emotional. “Probably have been in some way or another for a while. Right?” 

Jake rolled over, wincing as he felt the soreness and the sudden emptiness kick in. “Yeah. I think so.” 

Danny must have noticed. “How do you feel?” he asked, shuffling beneath the two of them to grab some of the comforter, haphazardly draping it over their bodies, cum and sweat and all. 

“A little sore,” Jake admitted and curled into Danny as those strong arms surrounded him again. It went beyond below his waist, though–his heart felt sore, like he might really start crying. He couldn’t explain why, it just was, just was this bittersweet ache that radiated through his chest. He sighed and flipped over, making Danny spoon him. The question he had in mind was the wrong thing to ask then, he knew it, but he did it anyway: “What now?”

Danny shoved the comforter down and then reached down to pull it back up over them. “What do you mean?”

Jake paused before saying, “Nothing.”

Danny sighed and held him tighter. “What now is, we fall asleep. Like this. Together. Right?”

_And in the morning?_ Jake’s brain chirped, anxiety ever-ready. _And tomorrow night? And when the tour is over? What then?_

Jake tried to shove those thoughts away as he shoved himself back into Danny and held his arm over his chest. “Right.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet…maybe. I think there comes a point in every ongoing fic where you need to attempt to delve into why things are happening in the first place…even if Jake doesn’t want to ;)

Despite Jake moving quite a bit throughout the night–partly due to Danny’s body heat becoming overwhelming after a time, even with the hotel room’s A/C blasting through the vents–he woke up with that same arm wrapped around him. He still felt a little sore, both below the waist and in his heart, with the deep, almost silent slumber of his mate blooming over his backside. He wiggled back and shut his eyes against the soft morning light–it was still early. Good. He could try to fall back asleep surrounded by lavender light, plush white sheets and Danny’s solid, hot body, swaddled and satiated. 

He’d had a dreamless, deep sleep even with tossing and turning. That was good too. He didn’t need any stress dreams or, God forbid, any nightmares. He wished he didn’t feel so terrorized by his own emotions, like his mind was betraying him. Whatever might happen, Jake knew he’d never really lose Danny, but warding off those thoughts was hard, hard even with the two of them literally intertwined yet again. 

Danny slowly nuzzled the back of his neck and stretched behind him; Jake half-turned his cheek but could only see a mess of dark hair and the curve of a golden bicep. It was a little surprising that he was awake so early or maybe he would just sigh and roll over to go back to sleep, but the curve of tan skin in Jake’s half-blurred vision shifted and he felt a warm hand slide down to his waist; Danny did sigh as predicted, but wrapped his leg over Jake’s thigh and squeezed him, murmuring, “G’morning.”

“You’re awake?” Jake questioned, not entirely awake yet himself.

“Mm. We’ll see.” Danny sighed again and nuzzled the back of Jake’s neck some more. “Gosh, you’re sweaty.”

“That’s from you.”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah.”

Jake paused, letting himself bask in Danny’s touch longer but also feeling the need–the self-sabotage–to break up the moment: “If we get up now, we can make it to the continental breakfast.”

“Egg Beaters and floppy bacon,” Danny said with a groan. “No thanks.”

“I wish I could cook you breakfast,” Jake said quietly, and that was actually the sincere truth. He was good at that, good at showing love through food, and he knew just what Danny liked in that regard. Years of sleepovers and diner breakfasts had made sure of that.

“Damn, I love your French toast,” Danny said, further affirming Jake’s knowledge. “I’ve never had it so good anywhere else.”

Right then, Jake felt the bulk of Danny’s morning wood pressed against his backside. He was far too sore to do anything about that, even orally, and he was glad Danny seemed content just to cuddle. “You’re telling me,” he said anyway, backing up into the weight of that dick just enough to make the drummer groan softly in his ear.

Danny chuckled before grumbling, “Not that you have anyone to compare to.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the best.” Jake swore he felt Danny blush along the length of his entire body at that. It hit him then that they were both still completely naked. Vulnerable. It was never so easy to be that way for Jake, not as he got older, anyway. But being naked with Danny still felt safe, both physically and emotionally. He had those strong arms to hold him and he had an even stronger heart to touch his own, to beat against his backside like a metronome until he felt like he could fall right back into sleep.

They both stopped talking and the deep silence was only slightly penetrated by the sound of the air conditioner. Jake let his breathing slow and the darkness slip behind his eyes again, everything feeling heavy and warm around him, like he was totally swaddled. He still had time to sleep, time to rest with his best friend before they had to engage in a different sort of nakedness onstage later that night. 

Danny must have thought he’d completely conked out as he lifted himself up behind Jake, propping himself on one elbow; he toyed with a strand of his hair gently, twirling it a few times before his fingers dropped to run down his upper arm. Jake fought back a sleepy grin, content to keep his eyes shut and make like he was back in a deep slumber, as Danny flopped back down and carefully pulled him even tighter against his chest. “Mm–yeah,” he murmured against his shoulder blade, barely audible but Jake managed to hear it even with amp-damaged ears. “I’m definitely in love with you.” 

—

The thought chimed in Jake’s mind over and over– _what now?_ –until he felt like he was going insane. The show helped–another stage, another hour and a half of prancing around, sweating, each of them flashing glitzy, glamoured, tailored outfits in front of people who called out for them, who called out for the same love and light that they all did. He felt relief from the worry. It helped to sweat it out. It also helped to be able to, once again but never enough, watch Danny pound those drums like the magnificent beast that he was, muscles taut and tense, sweat flying off him, a few drops even landing on Jake as he leaned back with the guitar threatening to make him falter, one knee cocked and levitating before he landed that foot on the ground and turned to grin wide at _his_ drummer. 

It wasn’t just Danny. Jake loved being up there with Josh and Sam, too. The twin telepathy was real, it always had been–simply a glance and Jake knew what Josh wanted, what he needed to do, and vice versa. Sam didn’t share their telepathy but it was still second-nature, that knowing; he had it with Danny, no doubt. Jake had seen them swap minds for years, become one with another, not so unlike Jake felt he’d become with Danny himself, but up in front of thousands was not the time to think about the future. Jake needed to be tethered to that stage and to his brothers until he felt like his whole body might give out. 

If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to go to another new bar after the show. He didn’t want to go anywhere, really, he just wanted to fuck again. He figured he wanted to fuck so badly again not only because it was, well, sex but also to curb that anxiety. If he could get back to that state in which he felt no worry, had no thoughts, was only focused on the man underneath himself and the feelings surrounding and inside him, he could be okay. Until that happened again, he felt plagued with the what ifs and the what nows, and plagued with the thought that maybe Danny still just wasn’t worried. 

How? How could he not be worried? 

Sweaty and disheveled backstage, he caught Danny’s eyes after the drummer emerged from the dark hallway with Sam. The look he gave Jake made dread drop into his stomach and he needed to know what caused it. Sam must have said something, and that something must have been bad. Or at least troubling.

Jake didn’t need to wonder what it had been for too long because, a minute later, he found himself being dragged through that same hallway and outside, to the back of the building, by his younger brother. 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Sam said, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. It all seemed so dramatic, Jake thought, and he did his best to look unfazed as he leaned back against the building. He didn’t want to deal with whatever was happening. He just wanted a shower and to crawl in bed with Danny in another warm and dense cocoon. 

“What?” Jake asked, almost a snap, the facade of coolness already cracking. His body language was contradicting the rush of adrenaline he felt, ready to fight back against whatever Sam was about to throw at him.

“You two are–” Sam stopped, looked up at the sky, seemingly exasperated. He snapped his head down and looked Jake straight in the eyes, a glare brewing. “ _Fucking_?”

Jake winced. Sam said it like it was such a horrible thing, like they’d murdered someone. “Sam–I–” he stopped too, not sure how to formulate his thoughts. Why did he need to explain himself anyway? No, he reminded himself, giving an explanation was in fact fair, even with the antagonistic nature of Sam’s request. 

“You can’t,” Sam whined, the true little brother coming out, but then he squared his shoulders and the glare broke through completely. “That’s not how this works. Like, come on, Jake, I mean, what the fuck–” He paused, eyes dropping down, and sighed. “When did this even start?”

“A few weeks ago,” Jake answered. Damn. Had it really been that quick that they’d moved through one another? “That was the first time.”

“I’m not stupid. Or blind. I’ve noticed,” Sam said, glaring again. “So you’re both, what? Gay now?”

“Oh my god,” Jake groaned, exhausted. 

“What? Isn’t that a fair question?”

“The question of my sexuality is one I’ve been trying to avoid,” Jake replied, picking at a loose thread on his pants. “I don’t care. It doesn’t even matter. It’s just–it’s just Danny. I don’t need to look any deeper than that, Sam, so don’t try.”

Sam’s face softened. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m not.” Jake glanced over his younger brother and relaxed against the brick. “Why does it matter? Are _you_ in love with him?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “No. Jesus Christ.” 

“Well, I think _that’s_ a fair question.”

Sam closed his eyes and exhaled. “You’re deflecting.” His brow furrowed again. “My concern is what this means for us. For all of us. You really think this is going to work out? What the fuck will management say?”

“Band members hook up all the time, Sam.”

Sam scoffed. “Right.” He took a breath and his face flushed and he added, “Not dudes. Not us. We’re brothers.” 

“You can’t pull that with Danny. Yes, he’s our brother but Jesus Christ, don’t make this something that it’s not,” Jake snapped back, ready to bare his teeth. He inhaled warm air and sighed before continuing: “Listen, I have thought about all of this. Believe me. But even the worst of the anxiety doesn’t stop my feelings. I’ve never wanted someone like this–I’ve never loved someone like this. I think it’s always been there, you know, like–like we’ve always loved each other.” 

There was a pause before Sam said, “You’re serious.”

“Dead serious.” Jake straightened his spine. He wished he had cigarette, feeling as though leaning back against a brick wall with someone accosting him called for one. 

“It’s fucking weird, Jake.”

“It is. But it isn’t.” Jake rubbed his hand over his face, wiping more sweat into his brows and the barely-there mustache he’d grown throughout the day. “Doesn’t it make sense?” he asked, echoing the conversation he’d had with Danny. 

“I guess. But you’re not–”

Jake held his hand up. “Gay. Bi. Whatever. Would you stop it?” No, that was not the conversation he wanted to have. Not now, not ever, probably. This was something he felt didn’t requite an explanation or some cross-examination of his identity–who fucking cared?

Sam leaned back next to him, clicking his tongue once and dipping his head down before he asked, “Do I even want to know which one of you–Jesus, is the bottom?”

“You even know the terminology. Smart, Sam.”

“Shut up, who doesn’t?”

“Someone who’s never thought about doing it,” Jake replied, knowing he was being antagonistic and pulling back a smirk.

Sam jabbed him in the ribs, hard enough for him to yelp. “I’m not in love with Danny. We’ve never been, you know, that way.”

“You say it like it’s such an awful thing. I thought you were as far on the left as they come.”

“It’s not an ‘awful thing.’ Don’t put words in my mouth.” Sam huffed and crossed his arms, the metallic grey of his wispy shirt catching the buzzing yellow light above them. “I don’t really care about who you, or who Danny, fucks with. But I do care about us, the whole of us, and our band. You say you’ve thought about all of this shit, so what? What’s your conclusion?”

“My conclusion is that I couldn’t stay away from Danny even if I tried,” Jake replied. “So why bother trying at all?”

Sam threw his hands up, parroting a previous statement: “This is fucking weird, man.”

Jake moved forward then tossed himself back, bouncing up from the wall, still exhausted, still craving different company. “I need a drink.”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, exhaling. “Don’t we all.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a really fun chapter to write, even if it was spread out over many broken and stressful days. I like how it turned out–I hope you do too.

“Did he rip you a new one?” Danny asked as Jake headed back, not a moment passing before they were side by side and walking in sync. 

“Ha-ha,” Jake replied, voice low, hoarse even though he hadn’t sung. He still needed that drink. “Only you could do that.”

“Yeah, speaking of–how’s that feel?” Danny asked, leaning back and patting his ass.

It made Jake laugh just a little. “Okay. In need of some more recovery, I suppose.”

“No doubt,” Danny said, patting it again, then wrapping his arm around his shoulders. Jake stiffened at first, surprised–yeah, they were all perhaps a little more physically affectionate than the average group of guys but it felt different, knowing that Danny was in love with him and apparently not too cautious when it came to showing it. Maybe.

Damn. _In love with him._ The words painted themselves in crimson and silver behind Jake’s eyes as he blinked and leaned into Danny’s touch. He could let the drummer take the brunt of his body weight–he could take it–as they headed back to the bus. When it was back in plain view, however, Danny stopped and nudged Jake back up straight with a shift of his shoulder.

“I don’t feel like getting back on there,” he said, his eyes darker than usual in the low light buzzing above them, jutting his chin toward the bus. 

Jake pulled out his phone to glance at the time. “We have an hour.” 

Danny tilted his chin up in thought for a moment. “Are you hungry?” he asked as he glanced back down, and Jake could see the dampness around his hairline, the curls almost wiry with sweat around his temples.

Jake’s stomach growled as if on cue–he could never really eat before going onstage. None of them could, not even Danny. “Yeah,” he said, looking up to match Danny’s gaze, even managing a tired smile at the handsome, dark face. “What did you have in mind?”

“I saw a food truck down the street. Burgers. Maybe more importantly, cheese fries,” Danny said, raising his eyebrows. Without waiting for a response, he hooked his arm with Jake’s and started to steer them away from the bus, from the throngs of fans just out of earshot, from their staff; Jake leaned into him again, stomach rumbling even louder.

“Whoa!” Danny said, laughing. “We better get something in you ASAP.”

Maybe more than one thing. Although, Jake pondered, after they both inhaled burgers dripping with grease and fries covered in melted cheese and who knows what else, he figured neither of them would be up for much of anything after other than a shower and crawling right into their bunks. Maybe “bunk,” singular. They could still sleep together. Jake imagined Danny rubbing his belly if he complained of a stomach ache, and maybe he would just to make that happen. He was never good at faking sick–that was always Josh’s game.

Cradling white and red paper trays in their hands and styrofoam cups full of sugar-laden sodas in the crooks of their arms, they found a park bench nearby, tucked away from the street lights except for one that hung right over them, making Jake feel incredibly conspicuous. It buzzed like all the others and illuminated the oils leaking from the burgers and the cheese and the fries–he hadn’t been so gluttonous in quite a while. The first bite of his burger was an intense rush of serotonin, taste buds singing; Danny seemed to be having the same experience, wolfing down a third of his own as Jake blinked up at the light and chewed.

“I bet Sam is in love with you,” he said suddenly, going in for another bite. God, it was good, just the recovery food he needed, with just the person he needed. He didn’t need Sam scoffing at the red meat and American cheese, nor did he need Josh nitpicking every single ingredient and inspecting everything with his face two inches away. 

Danny snorted as he sipped his grape soda. “No.”

“No, not romantically. I don’t think so. But he loves you so much,” Jake went on, ducking his head down, hands paused mid-air and still holding the burger. “You know that. He probably loves you more than I love you.” He didn’t mean that–it was code for, _I know you love him more than you love me._ That was probably true. That wasn’t the worst thing in the world, Jake concluded, even if it always stung a bit. Yes, he’d heard Danny mumble that he was in love with him just that same morning. He knew that should have completely eased his mind right and there and he cursed himself because it hadn’t. He wished it had. But words were just one part of love.

Danny read his mind somehow. “I love you both–and Josh–equally. Maybe just in different ways.” He chuckled and grabbed a cheese fry. “Obviously different ways. I’ve never wanted to kiss Josh, even if you and him look sort of similar.”

“‘Sort of,’” Jake echoed, smiling a little. “Thank you for acknowledging our differences.”

Danny nodded, chewing and swallowing dutifully before speaking again. “Yeah, man. I didn’t get it when people couldn’t tell you apart years ago, like when we were kids. You’re different.” He grabbed another fry and tilted his head, looking up. “Both of you are special, Jake. All of you. You, Sam, Josh. Where would I be without all of you?”

Jake nudged Danny’s shin from beneath the bench. “Where would we be without you? You’re absolutely our rock. I don’t know how you put up with us all the time.”

Danny shrugged. “I’m naturally patient.”

Jake chuckled a little, shaking his head, then his mind sidetracked. “You and Sam, though–you never thought about it?”

The drummer almost glowered at him, his irises catching a glimmer of light. “No. Honestly.” Danny sighed wistfully. “I love him. I’m glad we can all say that freely–I never liked hiding that sort of thing.” _That sort of thing_ –Jake smirked to himself as he let Danny continue: “I’m affectionate. I like touching. Sam just gets the most of it because, well, he’s Sam.”

“I mean, I’m happy to hear that I’m your one and only,” Jake said. “When it comes to dudes, anyway.”

“Yeah, we took each other’s virginities,” Danny affirmed, going for another fry before pushing the little tray closer to Jake. “I wouldn’t have wanted it with anyone else. Not even Sam. I mean, I never thought about it with another guy, ever.”

Jake nodded. “I’m just glad you didn’t deck me in the face when I, you know, approached you.”

“You know I would never. And you must have known I would be into it, or else you wouldn’t have tried.”

“I thought I had like, a 40/60 shot. The 40 being in my favor,” Jake said, almost chuckling but it felt too transparent of a confession to really laugh. “But I could sort of sense it, I think, in hindsight. When I stood in front of you and you didn’t shove me away right then, I knew I could keep going.” 

“You have a pull, Jake. At least for me,” Danny replied, darkness glinting beneath his brows. “Once that happened–once I was able to touch you, to feel you–I couldn’t imagine ever not having that again.” He paused to take a sip of soda, eyes flipping up to study the sky before he spoke again: “Not just your body, you know. All of you. I–” He stopped again, chuckling with his head ducked down. “Sometimes I don’t even feel worthy.”

“Danny, don’t say that,” Jake said, though the confession was somewhat flattering even if it did make him sad. Of course Danny was worthy–who else would be if not him? “You’re more than worthy. We’re worthy of each other.”

“I know. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be part of the band.” Danny shifted on the bench and straightened out his shoulders, looking suddenly like a superhero to Jake. “Now I have to prove myself to you. I want to, anyway. Not just for you but for myself. This is all so new, so weird, you know? But it’s good.”

Jake smiled a little at his ramblings. 

Danny exhaled, suddenly looking at their array of food and drink with somber silence for a moment before saying, “Our tour will be over soon, Jake. Really.”

“Soon. Sort of,” Jake half-agreed, reaching for the fries that Danny was neglecting. 

“I don’t want any of us to be apart,” Danny said and the declaration made Jake’s heart burst almost violently in his chest–he held the fry mid-air, kept it there, worried that he might start hyperventilating or something else extraordinarily dramatic, and Danny continued: “I really don’t. It doesn’t feel right for all of us to be apart.”

“I know,” Jake said, finally bringing the fry to his mouth to chew as slowly as he could before swallowing, thinking. “I agree.”

“I don’t think Sam was in the mood to talk about it tonight. But I plan on talking to him more about LA.”

Fuck LA, Jake thought, bitter about the whole thing. He had been from the start. It was such a painfully Sam place, but only 20 year old Sam would suggest such a thing. 15 year old Sam would have bust a nut over the idea of living in Nashville–suddenly the wasteland of sunshine and smog called to him? Jake didn’t want Sam to go; he didn’t want Danny to tag along. 

Instead of going into a monologue about Sam’s poor taste in cities, Jake took a sip from his drink and dropped his eyes to the table, still thinking. His thoughts were steadily migrating from LA and Nashville to hotel beds and then, finally, to the beds in the tour bus, which is where he and Danny would be that night. On the road again to pop up in a new city the next morning, to bare all for the world to see. Sam and Josh had seen plenty too, he supposed, so what difference did it make if they shared a bed on the bus without trying to hide it?

He didn’t think very hard before abruptly saying, “I heard what you said this morning.”

Danny looked at him with one side of his mouth upturned, one brow already rising. “What?”

“I heard you say that you’re in love with me.”

“I’ve said it before.” Danny smiled a little. “I’m glad you heard it again, though.”

“I need to be with you tonight,” Jake said, and he did. God, the need was weighing on him heavier and heavier since the show had ended, since all their talking. The need to touch, to kiss, to love–it was pressing down on him, making it hard to even remain seated on the other side of the table.

Danny’s smile grew, though still shy and subdued. “I’d like that.” He surveyed the rest of their meals with a sweep of dark lashes and hazel eyes that sucked Jake in so hard as he looked up again. “Let’s finish–we’ll need our strength for tomorrow.”

Jake chuckled, obliging with another fry between his fingers. “And tonight.” 

—

He wanted to not give a single damn but Jake ended up waiting for Josh and Sam to go to bed first before he slipped out of his bunk and trotted over to Danny’s. He could imagine Sam huffing from beyond the black curtain, Josh snickering beyond his, but he couldn’t be so bothered to stop. Jake knew Sam would get over it–it was a lot for him, he had realized after processing their conversation some more, for his very best friend to suddenly go off with his older brother. That was twisted, he realized, even if it wasn’t insidious. He could see the betrayal, maybe even more than Sam saw it since he was older and wiser and could more objectively analyze himself and the situation. At least after some breathing room.

Moving behind Danny’s curtain, Jake didn’t want any breathing room. He wanted to be totally ensconced in _Danny_. 

He didn’t even need to ask–Danny was already holding one arm out while lying on his side, beckoning in the dark; Jake crawled to him and curled into his chest, latching their limbs together. They were both fully clothed in t-shirts and boxers but Jake could feel the heat radiating through the cotton, a warm chest and an even warmer heart beyond fabric and muscle and bone; he placed his palm over Danny’s chest and inhaled the fragrance of laundry soap slightly tarnished by musk and the bright, fruity scent of shampoo.

He couldn’t see much of Danny’s face in that darkness but Jake found his lips, brushing their together softly before he overtook him in the deep, wanting kiss he’d been craving all night. It only took a second for Danny’s tongue to slip through and meet his, the warm muscles to massage and tease as their lips parted further and their jaws tilted and angled themselves to make the perfect match. 

Jake didn’t think he’d ever get tired of consuming him, of how they consumed one another. As they kissed and kissed some more, he pet him through his shirt, running his palm over the warm skin beneath, feeling that bone and muscle and heat. Danny’s breaths became heavier in Jake’s mouth and he even whimpered as Jake’s fingertips trailed down his ribs and to his hip, lifting the hem of his t-shirt just enough to graze warm, smooth skin and then to the side and just a bit lower, low enough for his fingertips to slide beneath the waistband of Danny’s boxers. He was met with coarse curls that bloomed around his fingers, and he lightly dragged his nails over the skin beneath the hair, making Danny shudder and gasp.

He felt the soft skin of Danny’s dick flutter and then it was hardening, getting stretched and rigid as Jake continued to toy with his pubic hair. Yeah, he could do that all day–just stroke and play and fuss and observe, even if they were in the dark. Danny’s quiet, stifled moans and murmured affirmations were plenty for him to drink up, soak in. When his dick became rock solid and hot, Jake expected to be rolled onto his back and overtaken but Danny remained lying on his side in front of him and wrapped one arm around his shoulders to pull him in, going for more kisses. Jake returned the favor eagerly, still just running his fingertips through his pubic hair and gently brushing over his cock as they swapped more saliva and low moans.

Danny’s arm remained wrapped around his shoulders while his free hand roamed behind for his fingers to toy with Jake’s hair, still damp from his late night shower on the bus. Even though they’d used the same body wash, Jake could still smell Danny’s own scent through his clothes and through the detergent, a scent he’d realized he’d become completely addicted to. He would have liked to bury his face against the drummer’s neck and chest forever, soaking it in and breathing steadily until their heartbeats matched; in the dark, he did nuzzle Danny’s collar and nipped at the sturdy bone beneath his skin, growing hard in his own boxers as Danny moaned and dug his fingertips into his shoulder.

They were so responsive to each other, Jake realized that too. No one but Danny had been able to elicit such deep, true moans from Jake’s throat or make him writhe and silently plead for more. Danny knew it too, that was clear–even with Jake not making a sound, Danny knew he wanted to be touched too and his hand traveled down the length of his back to squeeze his ass, perhaps quite literally his favorite part of his body. Jake didn’t mind. He never thought he’d love having that part of himself touched so often, so appreciatively. 

The sideways position was causing his arm to fall asleep, so Jake finally nudged Danny onto his back and climbed on top, leaning down to kiss him again as big, strong hands felt up and down his torso, impatiently inching underneath his shirt. The impatience was becoming mutual and Jake didn’t feel like taking the extra time and effort for either of them to strip–he squeezed Danny’s hips with his thighs and aligned their groins together, burning hot even through their boxers. Danny seemed eager for it, grabbing his hips and pushing him down until Jake felt everything align–hips, thighs, balls, dicks–and then they were grinding hard and rough, stifled groans and growls filling the dark space.

His ears were still listening for any other sounds besides their own–God forbid Josh or Sam or especially someone from the crew whip open the curtain or even hear them, really. It was obtuse to think that Josh and Sam were completely immune to what they were doing in the bunk but Jake knew Sam had ear plugs and Josh was probably already passed out anyway. Jake didn’t find the sneaking around to be as hot as he thought it would have been when they first started–no, he didn’t want to hide anything from anyone. But Sam had made a few good points, one being that maybe band members really didn’t do this. 

It was too late though. Jake was in deep, humping and grinding and quietly moaning against Danny’s mouth, taken over by those hands gripping his hips so hard that bruising was inevitable. That thought turned Jake on even more, the image of purple and blue over his hip bones that only he would see. Maybe a lucky, eagle-eyed fan in the crowd would catch a glimpse during their next show.

Danny’s hand snaked around his front and reached in, wrapping around Jake’s cock; he tossed his head back and closed his eyes, the darkness there only slightly mismatched to the darkness around them. But when Danny stroked and caressed, tiny white sparkles began to twinkle behind his eyes. He humped harder, thrusting his balls against Danny’s cock, wanting desperately to get him off hard and fast just like that.

Jake never felt like he was good at dirty talking and being at a consistent loss of words when it came to Danny made him doubt his skills even more. Still, there were things brewing on the back of his tongue that needed to be purged in that moment and he said, voice low and raw, “Come for me, come on–do it. Soak them.”

He heard a little snicker and almost hopped right off, but then Danny squeezed his cock and his hip and replied, “I will. Just for you, Jake.” He stroked Jake’s cock faster, swiping his thumb over the beading precum. “Get so dirty for you–if you want it that way.” 

Fuck yes, Jake wanted it that way. He curved his spine and continued the grind, so close to peaking, feeling that Danny was too with how swollen his dick and balls felt. Danny groaned and huffed and Jake felt his body twist beneath him, arching his back as he squeezed his hip so hard he winced, but he kept grinding along as hot wetness seeped through both their boxers and Danny’s huffs became quiet little whimpers. He managed to keep stroking Jake and, abruptly, Jake’s body shuddered and shook and he bit his lip to keep himself from cursing, shooting against the crotch of his boxers and partially into Danny’s hand.

Hard and fast, that was it. He rolled over and sprawled out as best he could in the confined space, needing to breathe and stretch out; through the black, he saw Danny wipe his cum-covered hand over his own boxers, adding to the mess. 

“So much for that shower,” Danny chuckled, his elbow knocking into Jake’s shoulder as he put his arms behind his head. “I’m so sweaty now.”

Jake suddenly noticed the layer of sweat over his own body, sticky and warm. “Me too. And, y’know, covered in my own spunk.”

Danny chuckled again. “I hate that word.”

“‘Spunk?’” Jake smirked. “What would you prefer I say?”

“‘Cum.’ ‘Jizz.’ I’ll even take ‘semen.’”

Jake crinkled his nose. “That’s not hot, Danny.”

“Well, jizz in general isn’t hot.”

“Yours is. Literally,” Jake replied, reaching over to feel the _spunk_ that had ruined Danny’s boxers. “It’s so hot. You are just a furnace, man.”

Danny laid his hand over Jake’s and brought it up higher to brush over his happy trail, exposed with his shirt riding up. “Yeah, I know. I can’t believe you can stand it.”

Jake lifted himself up off the mattress enough to grope for the sheets, slipped under and then sidled up against Danny. “It feels nice,” he said, already nuzzling into the hotter-than-usual heat Danny was giving off. 

Hard and fast, that’s how he also fell asleep. There were no thoughts of the next morning, the next day, the next show, the possible turmoil he might face with Sam’s wrath still possibly fuming–just a deep sleep as he nestled himself safely in the bent nest of Danny’s arm.


	11. Chapter 11

They were almost out of the woods. Two more shows and the tour would be over and they would be free to fly into fall however they wished. There was still no definitive plan–or agreement–as to where they would all end up going. Jake knew that Danny had talked to Sam more about LA–as had he himself, as had Josh–but so far Sam’s response to even the slightest whisper of their future move was him huffing and shutting it down. Maybe, Jake thought, if he hadn’t gone off with Sam’s best friend, he would be more inclined to stick together as a group, as a family. He felt like he might have damaged that.

He felt like he might have damaged Danny too, since the boy had started a sudden habit of unnecessarily berating himself after the past few shows. He’d slide offstage behind the curtain and into the dark and hang his head, muttering to himself. Jake didn’t get it. Danny wasn’t actually fucking up at all–they were all still jamming, doing their thing, and he _looked_ like he was having fun up there, so why all the self-flagellation after it was over? 

Between Sam’s childish huffing and eye-rolling, Danny’s shattered self-esteem and Josh’s sudden and uncharacteristic refusal to address either one, Jake had just about had it. He grabbed the drummer’s arm after the latest adrenaline-pumping, sweat-dripping show, the third to last, and yanked him off to the side to an even darker space, a wooden beam clunking behind his back as he banged himself against it.

“Danny, what the hell?” he choked out, voice hoarse not from singing but from the previous night’s activities, which involved him sucking Danny down as far as he could for as long as he could while the drummer groaned and cursed so loud that he probably woke up whoever was sleeping in the hotel room next to them. 

Danny looked like Jake had just smacked him. “What?” he bleated, tugging his arm out of his grasp then, apparently thinking better of it, he reached down and gently clasped their hands together.

Jake’s heart was still racing from the show, his blood pumping hot and wild. He let out a heavy sigh and squeezed Danny’s hand. “I can’t take it anymore, man. Stop beating yourself up for nothing. What the hell do you think you did out there?”

“During ‘Safari–’”

“I was watching–and listening–during ‘Safari.’ You did not.”

Danny pouted but his body relaxed a bit, as did his shadowed face. “I thought–”

For the love of God, Jake thought, and lunged forward to plant a sweaty, mismatched kiss on Danny’s mouth. It was brief, just long enough for both of them to listen to the still-clamoring crowd beyond the curtains and the stage and for Danny to give a pleased hum against Jake’s lips.

“You’re so fucking good. Do you even know how good you are?” Jake asked, peeling himself away from Danny’s sweaty, bare front. He laughed a little then, shaking his head. “No, clearly not. I’m going to have to remind you, I suppose.” Suddenly serious as he remembered that Danny’s insecurities must be at least partially his doing somehow, he added, “I don’t want you to suddenly start doubting yourself. You’re in this for the long haul, Danny. We all are. And you–” he pressed two fingertips against the drummer’s chest. “Are not going anywhere. Okay?”

Danny seemed, unfortunately and surprisingly, unfazed by Jake’s attempt at reassurance. “Time’s running out. What are we going to do when we go back home?” 

“Figure it out,” Jake replied, willing himself to believe it as much as he could will Danny to as well. He was starting to wonder why it was such a big deal anyway–they might as well stay in fucking Frankenmuth at this rate.

Danny sank back against the wall. “Sam’s mad at me. And I get it. I feel bad, Jake.” 

“He’ll get over it.” A harsh response maybe, but Jake knew that Sam would, in fact, get over it eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later, because as much of a front as Jake was trying to put on, he felt the anger behind Sam’s stares and apart from his shit starting to irritate him, it was also putting a true damper on him. All they could do was play and sing their hearts out and forget about it while they could until they had to face it again.

Danny frowned. “Have you talked to him?”

“It’s very hard when he’s put up a damn wall.”

A sigh. “I know.”

Jake sighed too. “We’re all gonna go out after we get cleaned up. Right?” He squeezed Danny’s hand again. “We’ll all talk then.”

Danny’s eyes darted over Jake’s shoulder as the impending voices of the crew and security sounded past the crowd. He dipped down and kissed his temple before saying, “Alright. Love you, Jake.”

Jake’s heart flipped in his chest and he had to inhale a gulp of air. He was getting more used to them saying that to one another, but it only happened outside of the bedroom or a bunk once before–he had been starting to think he was a fool for wanting it so bad, for wanting them to be a _thing_ so badly, but the softness in Danny’s eyes that matched his words made Jake feel, in that moment, like maybe it wasn’t so foolish after all.

“Love you too, Danny,” he said, freeing the drummer’s hand and taking another breath to prepare himself for the rest of the night, tired and worn out as he was, at least physically. Emotionally, the adrenaline was still coursing through. “Let’s get buzzed.”

-

Buzzed but not buzzed enough to ignite his own temper or anyone else’s, Jake sank back in the booth next to Josh, his shoulder brushing against the warm window that contrasted with the pub’s stark, cold air. He accidentally kicked Sam’s shin from underneath the table as he extended his leg and was met with a scathing look, fire behind those brown doe eyes, and he almost shrank back before he told himself to buck up and that he was the older one. The wise one. And there was no more time to waste.

“We gotta talk,” he announced, not looking to either Josh or Danny for consent to broach the subject, the subject that could be known even in silence.

“About?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned and picked a piece of lint off of Danny’s shirt. 

Oh, what a bitch. Jake straightened up in his seat before leaning forward, forearms outstretched on the table, his beer between them. “What happens after tour ends. You know–where we all end up.”

Sam let out a haughty sigh. “Home.”

“And then?”

Sam actually pouted a little, then his face got fierce again. “You have to corner me in a booth to do this?”

Jake refrained from rolling his eyes. “I’m not trying to corner you.” Only then did he glance to Josh for support, and his twin sat up straight and looked at Sam sympathetically. 

“We just have to figure it out,” Josh said, averting his eyes to the table as he began to fiddle with a napkin. “Personally, I would prefer all of us to be together, but I’m not asking anything of you or of Danny.” He looked up again and, with a wave of his hand, added, “You can frolic off to LA if you wish. I’ll miss you both, if that’s going to be the case.”

“We’re going to be doing most of our recording in Nashville anyway,” Jake said before Sam could reply. “It makes sense.”

“See, I don’t know if you’re more concerned about those logistics,” Sam replied, offering another challenging stare. “Or if you just want Danny with you.”

“I want _both_ of you with me,” Jake said, losing patience. “You know that. I didn’t like the idea of you two in LA even before Danny and I got together, Sam.” He looked at Danny, at the dark, gentle face that he’d grown to love even more than he thought was ever possible. They were together–there was no denying that from anyone. “And, yes, things have changed, which makes me want to be closer to Danny even more.” He paused, trying to choose the rest of his words carefully, emotion maybe taking the reigns more anyway: “I don’t want you to move to LA with spite for me in mind, Sam. I’m sorry for making things weird–I am. I don’t mean it to be that way.”

Danny turned his cheek to address Sam: “We’re a family. Always.”

It took a long, tense moment but then Sam laughed a little and shoved Danny’s shoulder. “You’re all such saps, jeez,” he said, looking at Jake and Josh, then back to Danny. “You don’t have to follow me or any of us, Daniel. You’re not just going with the flow as usual, right? Because you shouldn’t. What do you want?”

“Honestly?” Danny’s eyes turned down as he drummed his fingertips on the table. “I want us all to be together. I don’t really care where, but Nashville makes the most sense. I don’t think I’m ready for us to be separated yet.” He looked up, suddenly proud, and addressed them all: “I’m a sap. But that’s what I want.”

Jake’s heart had spent a lot of time feeling as though it might burst over the past few weeks and that moment was no exception. He wanted to lunge across the table and hug Danny, but instead he nudged his shin affectionately from underneath as he laid his arm over his twin’s shoulders. “I’m down.”

Josh raised his glass, giving a cheers to only himself. “Me too.”

Sam nodded, lips twisted in thought, then raised his glass and clinked it against Jake’s. “I’m in.”

Danny was beaming, glowing bronze and gold in the dim light. “It’s official?”

Jake opened his mouth but Sam, fairly enough, beat him to it: “It’s official. All of us in Nashville.” They all clinked their glasses together and knocked back gulps, then he added, “Separate places though, right?”

Jake hadn’t thought that far along. It would be weird, not living with his brothers, not going home to all of them, not fighting over a single bathroom, not being so fed up with breathing the same air that one or more of them eventually bolted outside, flustered and angry. It would be weird to know that that dynamic would disappear until whenever they would tour again and be on the bus. Goddamn the nostalgia, the sentimentality! Jake was excited even with that, and Danny snaking his hand beneath the table to stroke right above his knee brought him back into that. 

“Aw, come on,” Josh said, gesturing at the younger two across from him. “Roommates.” He gestured to Jake and himself. “Roommates. Right?”

“Maybe,” Sam replied, giving Jake a slight kick under the table, subsequently making Danny remove his hand from Jake’s leg. “I don’t want to hear you two going at it, though. Ew.”

Danny rolled his eyes, smirking; Josh giggled; Jake scoffed, but he couldn’t help his eyes from raking over Danny’s body from across the booth, already salivating at what was beneath his clothing, and his heart already racing with the thought of him. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, even. No, he couldn’t stand to be separated by so many states, so many miles–nor could he be separated by Sam like that. He needed all of them and they needed each other, even if Sam was too stubborn to see that in complete clarity.

But he’d won. He could afford to be sentimental for a while longer. 

-

Jake felt a little high, both from the few beers and the conclusion of his brothers which had come so easily, so much more easily than he’d expected. Maybe too easily–his anxiety was spiking through the high, with Danny’s hand in his back pocket, cupping his butt, being the only thing to keep it from peaking entirely. They were walking behind Josh and Sam, not far enough back to be out of earshot but far enough back for Jake’s stifled giggle as Danny squeezed his denim-covered flesh to be missed.

“I’m ready to go home,” Jake said, lifting Danny’s hand from his back pocket so he could hold it as they walked. 

“Which home?” Danny asked, looking ahead after he put the question into the air. “The bus, the hotel, Frankenmuth or Nashville?”

Ugh, the bus. Jake was sick of the stagnant bunks and scum-slick shower, sheathed in grime no matter how many times any of them cleaned it. It registered to him like a sign, like that alone was a message from the universe telling them that their tour time was up and that was a good thing. He was waiting for it to be written in the grime, literally. As for hotels, Jake was sick of those too–sick of the dry, recirculated air, the starchy sheets, the barren, silent hallways. It was obvious they were all tired of it, tired of all the same things, but none of them vocalized it. 

They wouldn’t purge that until the tour was, indeed, officially done. It was so close that Jake could almost taste the relief right then–almost. He could, however, definitively taste the faintness of wheat and citrus still clinging to Danny’s tongue when he leaned over for a quick kiss as they moved underneath the streetlights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only all our lives came together so neatly and nicely! Jake lucked out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went into this chapter with no expectations of it being the last one but, as I was going along, the ending just felt so beautifully final that I couldn’t make myself push past it and potentially ruin this wonderful fic. I’ve had such a great time writing it and I’ve loved getting all of your feedback! Thank you, always ~

And then it was truly done. Like before Jake could even blink, they were celebrating their final show of the tour, so many months to begin tucking into themselves, to put away for a little while so they could rejoice and revel in what they’d done and what they would do. Jake felt a weight lift from himself, something he didn’t expect–not just because they could relax, hopefully, before getting back to work, but because things had somehow worked out for them. He’d never felt like anything good ever came easy–even if _Danny_ had come pretty easily, in more ways than one–which made his nerves prickle even as he tried to let himself enjoy the night.

They did shots–maybe too many of them–at the nearest bar, which was a sultry sort of dive bar with a dance floor, instigating Jake to get half-hard while just looking at Danny from his seat at the bar. The low light, smoke clinging in the air from the open patio doors, tequila slumming through his veins and his looping fantasies made it so easy for that to happen. He slumped back and crossed his legs, swiveled around and gulped a glass of water, then moved over to his man.

Unlike in the hotel ballroom, they actually danced. Jake couldn’t help but laugh through most of it–Danny’s dance moves never failed to make him giggle, but when he grabbed Jake’s hips and slammed their bodies together, his half-hard-on raged almost completely erect. 

“Watch out,” Jake warned over the music, arching up to get as directly in Danny’s ear as he could. “My hips are still bruised.”

Danny relinquished his vice, grabbing Jake’s hands and bringing them up into the air between their torsos instead, still grooving. “Sorry,” he said, cheeks flushed, eyes lighting up as he smiled. “I have to be more careful.”

“You’re always careful.” Jake planted himself against Danny’s thigh and started to grind, not caring who was watching, it being the first time he’d ever truly not cared. The alcohol helped, but his adoration for Danny was even more intense than that. “I like it, in a way.” He knew he was talking too much with the loud music reverberating around them and having to strain to reach Danny’s ear, but he went on anyway: “Like, when I touch them, when I look at them, I can still feel your hands there.” 

Danny looked down at him grinding on his thigh. “Oh my god, are you–”

“I can’t help it,” Jake nearly shouted, but he pulled himself off and resumed a more PG-rated dance, eyes flashing over to the other people in the crowd for a moment, his brothers hidden beyond the other patrons. Being part of the crowd for once was exhilarating, but he needed to get Danny alone, and not just in another hotel room. 

Outside, a couple of blocks away, they found a spot secluded enough and clean enough for Danny to back Jake up against the wall, his knee pressing into Jake’s erection through his jeans. Danny clasped himself around him, tangling his fingers in Jake’s hair and tangling their thighs together, and captured him in a hot, hard kiss. The wall behind Jake was warm with humidity in the nighttime air and hard, not unlike what was still begging to be released from the confines of his pants–he could feel Danny’s hardness too, rubbing all over his thigh, only adding to the ache growing stronger in his groin and his chest.

Thoughts of the two of them started to swim in Jake’s mind even as they kissed–where they would go, what they would do, romance and domesticity like Jake had never thought of before. He already knew Danny so well–was it possible to get to know him even better? Jake wanted to try. He wanted to go as deep as he possibly could, and he also wanted Danny to know him deeper. The vulnerability didn’t scare him, not emotionally and apparently not even with them being within the sight of any passerbys as they made out and pawed at one another.

At the fleeting thought of he and Danny, perhaps someday, owning a dog together and trotting down the street, hands entwined, the dog panting happily in front, Jake giggled against Danny’s mouth; Danny pulled back, gently holding the side of his face. “Oh, Jake,” he said softly, almost a coo. “You’re drunk.”

Jake tilted his head up and nipped at Danny’s jaw. “So are you. Well, maybe not as drunk as me, but I saw you take those shots.”

Danny smiled, affection beaming through his gaze and within his touch, his fingers stroking Jake’s cheek. “Such a lightweight.” He glanced off to the side and asked, “Think Josh and Sam are pissed we left?”

Jake waved that away. “No. They have to understand,” he began, pulling on the collar of Danny’s shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. “That we’re full of raging hormones. And madly in love.”

“‘Madly?’” Danny repeated, a magenta flush inflaming his cheeks and nose, then dove back in to nibble on Jake’s bottom lip.

“Even sober, I think,” Jake said, retreating but still clinging to Danny’s collar, keeping him steady to look him in the eye. “So fucking enamored, dude.” He almost asked, Don’t you feel it? but, with the gleam in Danny’s eye and the saliva wet on his lips, he finally knew. “You are, too. I know it.” 

Danny giggled. “Yup.”

Jake scoffed, smirking, and lightly pushed him back. “Now it’s so easy for you? You’re a man of so few words.”

Danny engulfed him with strong, warm arms, pulling Jake back against his chest. “But they get the job done, right?” he asked, hugging him and nuzzling the top of his head. 

“Yes, they do.” Jake closed his eyes, the tiny stars behind them probably both alcohol and pheromones, and breathed in that _Danny_ scent. “Still, be glad I’m not high maintenance.”

“No, you really aren’t. I bet your girlfriends loved that.”

“Same for you, I’m sure. You’re the least high maintenance person I’ve ever met.” Jake managed to make enough room to look up–so much darkness for his eyes to always take in, so much light lying beneath the outer layers. “I’d love it if you could tell me what you want more often.”

Danny started to rub between Jake’s shoulder blades. “I’ll try. I’m usually pretty okay.” He smiled a little and glanced up to the sky. “Besides, I got what I wanted tonight–all of us together. That’s a huge win.”

“It is,” Jake said, reaching down to cop a feel of Danny’s groin. Oncoming laughter and footsteps thwarted whatever might have happened next, as he suddenly realized just how public they were. He groaned softly and rested his forehead against Danny’s chest, exhaling as Danny’s palm continued to circle his back. “I don’t want to be in a hotel again. I want my own damn bed.”

“Soon,” Danny said, slowly starting to move with Jake still hanging on him. “Let’s walk for a bit. Take our time. The hotel will be there for us whenever, you know.”

Jake lifted himself off and went to Danny’s side, noting how he slowed his stride and shortened his steps for them to stay walking together; Jake inhaled the night air, the fragrance of it even seeming quiet somehow, undisturbed by daytime pollution, and turned his attention away from the sidewalk to the sky above. The stars in the cloak of midnight blue were blurred, dusty, seemingly too far away with the lights of the city, but they were there and they were still even better to look at than the stars that twinkled behind his eyes.

Of course, nothing was better than the stars in Danny’s eyes that Jake caught as their gazes met again–like a pure-gold supernova pierced by peridot and volcanic ash, the brilliance centered around two endless, onyx galaxies. 

Jake was endlessly, blissfully lost in those galaxies. 

He reached for Danny’s hand as they walked, fingers intertwining and arms swinging a bit, the two of them still slightly giddy with hormones and booze and the anticipation of what was waiting for them up the street, around the corner and in the future beyond. Danny’s thumb brushed intently over Jake’s wrist and he felt his pulse flutter with the caress against his tender skin, and then he was imagining them doing this very thing in Nashville. They had so much to look forward to and Jake knew that he was lucky. He’d known that long before but being able to hold Danny’s hand like that, walk together, kiss, touch, talk, just be–that made him feel like the luckiest, lovesick fool alive.


End file.
